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Local Man Dreading Return To Normal As Pandemic Nears End

April 2, 2021April 3, 2021

Snyder, NY—While most Western New Yorkers dreaded a weather forecast that predicted a half-foot of snow this weekend, Larry Hemster, a marketing manager at Rosina Foods was pretty excited. Hemster …

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Arts/Living / Local

Local Music Snob Recalls Personal Chappaquiddick After Learning Van Morrison Plays Sax…

March 27, 2021March 27, 2021

Buffalo, NY—After clicking on a “Days Like This,” video by Van Morrison in his Facebook feed local Spot Coffee espresso technician and music snob, Hartford Wagmuzzle was shocked to learn …

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Local

Jack Conrad Prompts Area Women To Question The Necessity Of Men

March 13, 2021March 13, 2021

Buffalo, NY—In an over the top voice everybody’s favorite South Buffalonian, Jack Conrad held court among a socially distanced, pandemic appropriate crowd at the Blackthorn on Seneca Street this past …

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Arts/Living

From 1977 – I DID NOT KNOW THAT BUFFALO

March 11, 2021March 11, 2021

First they came for Roseanne, and I said nothing.Then they came for Mr. Potato Head. And I said nothing.Now they’re coming for this beloved children’s book, and I say “no …

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National

Conspiracy Theorists Struggle To Find New Bullshit To Scare Grievance Filled White People

March 4, 2021March 5, 2021

Orlando, Florida—For the first time since the end of his presidency Donald Trump returned to the public stage at CPAC in Orlando this past weekend, to once again cry foul …

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Arts/Living

Privileged Cats Unimpressed With Owner’s Rant

February 25, 2021February 25, 2021

West Seneca, NY—Fala Rubino the owner of a seven-year old gray tabby named Luna and a six-year old calico named Olive went off on his spoiled ungrateful cats after running …

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National

Progressives Admit They’re Kind Of Missing Trump’s Bullshit

February 21, 2021February 22, 2021

Washington, D.C.—As Joe Biden ushers in a more traditional presidency progressive supporters are breathing a sigh of relief. These same progressive supporters however, also find themselves wondering what Applebee’s Kayleigh …

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Local

Societal Decay Hits Home In South Buffalo

February 16, 2021February 16, 2021

Buffalo, NY—Early Monday morning dog walkers crossing the icy suspension bridge toward the third hole green at Caz Golf Course came upon the horrifying scene of an empty thirty pack …

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Local

Local Man Finally Accepts His Best Friends Are Assholes

February 12, 2021February 12, 2021

Cheektowaga, NY—After five years of arguing Chuck Wagonblott, an English teacher at Amherst High School has finally accepted that his lifelong friends are assholes. A downcast Wagonblott said, “The last …

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Local

Local Family Pleads With Georgia To Return Their Aunt Hazel

February 4, 2021February 6, 2021

“The McMumford Family of East Aurora want Aunt Hazel to know that they miss her and want her to come back home.” That was the sole line of last night’s …

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Available Now . . . The Last Playlist: A Sonic Epitaph- the soundtrack of P.A. Kane's life and death

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Available at Amazon by P.A.Kane . . . "The best book I ever skimmed." -Dave Smyth, Prozachian Times

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