Local Author Will Come To Your House And Judge You
Buffalo, NY—Are you a stranger in your own life? Are you lacking inspiration? Do you feel like the rug has been pulled out on you by an endless news cycle, …
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Sloan Bartender Expecting Plenty Of Stupidity From Dyngus Day Revelers
Sloan, NY—This will be the fourth Dyngus Day behind the timber at Stachu’s Stumble Inn in Sloan for twenty-five-year-old Zelda Kowalski, While each post-Lenten celebration has a unique flavor, what …
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West Seneca Man Struggling To Hide His Intellectual Past
West Seneca, NY—Dr. P.F. Pandingham, formerly a Classics and Poetry Professor at SUNY Geneseo, is struggling to hide his intellectual past, which keeps rearing its overeducated head in his new …
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Snyder Man Stuggling To Hide His Red Neck Past
Snyder, NY—Billy Bob Buttonbottom, or as he refers to himself these days, William Robert Buttonbottom of Snyder is trying to hide his redneck past. Despite an advanced degree in chemical …
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Buffalo Ex-Patriot Prepping For Grind Of Floating Season
Charlotte, NC—Ex-patriot and Buffalo bartending legend, Kevin McNamara—Mulligan’s Brick Bar, Pink Flamingo, Third Room—is in serious preparation for the upcoming floating season at his home in Charlotte, North Carolina. Though …
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Study Finds Western New Yorkers Think About Josh Allen Two Hundred Seventy-One Minutes Per Day
A new double-blind study conducted by The Lancet found that Western New Yorkers, on average, think about Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen two hundred seventy-one minutes or 4.51 hours per day. The number varies depending on the time of year, rising at the start of the football season in September and falling at the end of season. The numbers rise and fall incrementally with various offseason events like free agency, the draft and mandatory mini-camp in June.
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Local Author Electrifies All Four People At Last Event Of The Year
West Seneca, NY—In support of his latest novel, Larry Plumb Is Still Here, local author P.A. Kane has been doing book talks and signings at various venues and libraries throughout …
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Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit
Buffalo, NY—Marcus Aurelius was the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 during the Nerva-Antonine dynasty, a period of relative peace and stability across the vast Roman Empire. He was also …
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Old Man With Device That Shoots Oranges Terrorizing Teens At Park
Buffalo, NY—An old man with a device that shoots oranges has been terrorizing teens at Delaware Park. Images of the old man and his orange propulsion device have surfaced, but …
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Area Teachers Preparing For Heavy End Year Drinking
Western New York—As the school year comes to a close this week, area teachers are not only creating summer reading lists, grading exams, and buttoning up classrooms, but also are …
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