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Lame Third Period Wave Marrs Rick Jeanneret’s Glorious Final Call

May 5, 2022May 6, 2022

Buffalo, NY—Friday night marked the end to the fifty-one year run of Buffalo Sabres play-by-play man Rick Jeanneret. His glorious final call featured a walk-off  overtime goal by Casey Mittelstadt …

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Local / Sports

Lame White People Play Longest And Most Pointless Basketball Game In History

August 15, 2021August 16, 2021

Buffalo, NY—Having nothing meaningful to do with their lives since The Gap has essentially been Amazoned out of business and with the new iPhone13 is still a couple of months …

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Local / Sports

Local Anti-Vaxxers Are Standing With Cole Beasley In Spite Of His Man Bun

July 31, 2021August 5, 2021

Buffalo, NY—Vaccine hesitant, freedom loving Western New Yorkers are standing with outspoken Bills wide receiver Cole Beasley in spite of his absurd man bun. Under different circumstances it might be …

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Sports

Self Hating Sabres Fans Missing The Misery

December 4, 2020February 16, 2021

Buffalo, NY—While the weekly anxiety inducing third-quarter swoon by Josh Allen and the Bills falls squarely in line with the futility of Buffalo sports teams, this year the Bills have …

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Local / Sports

Local Woman Wants To Date Someone Not Obsessed With Josh Allen

September 17, 2020September 18, 2020

Amherst, New York—Andrea Ogletree, a twenty-five year old graduate student at the University of Buffalo recently started dating again after ending a long term relationship with her boyfriend Andre. The …

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Arts/Living / Sports

Area Mental Health Professionals Overwhelmed With Questions About The Bills

September 12, 2020September 13, 2020

Buffalo, New York—With the Covid 19 pandemic building steam for a second wave . . . with unemployment at ten-percent . . . with tensions from racial unrest surging . …

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Sports

Jack Eichel Reveals He’s A Juggalo: Bummed Summer “Gathering” Is Cancelled

June 28, 2020June 29, 2020

North Chelmsford, Massachusetts—Buffalo Sabres star forward Jack Eichel revealed this week he is a fan of the hardcore hip hop duo, Insane Clown Posse (ICP)and considers himself a Juggalo. Following …

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Sports

Fired Sabretooth Happy To Be Moving On

June 20, 2020June 20, 2020

Buffalo, NY—Overlooked in the Buffalo Sabres dismissal of twenty-two employees this past week, which included General Manager, Jason Botterill, his assistants and scouting staff, along with Chis Taylor and his …

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Sports

Bills Fans Giddy Over Fast Start

September 20, 2019September 21, 2019

Buffalo, NY—The Buffalo Bills 2-0 start to the 2019 NFL season has long suffering fans of the team absolutely giddy. The radio airwaves in Buffalo and around the nation have …

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Sports

Twenty Years Later “No Goal” Still Makes Locals Feel Like Losers

June 23, 2019June 25, 2019

Buffalo NY— In the long, knife twisting history of Buffalo sports futility No Goal is only out flanked by Wide Right. June 19, 2019 marked the twentieth anniversary of Brett …

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