Ten Rumors: Bills First Round Draft Pick Dalton Kincaid


Buffalo, NY—The Buffalo Bills selection of tight end Dalton Kincaid in the first round of the 2023 NFL draft has led to much excitement and speculation about the Utah product being the final piece in the team’s quest to win its first Super Bowl. Through off-season activities and three-weeks of training camp Kincaid has been more than living up to expectations, earning first team reps and praise from Josh Allen, Bills General Manager, Brandon Beane and a slew of others.

The Bills tight ends have traditionally been characterized by their blue collar work ethic rather than their flash. From Ernie Warlick to Pete Metzelaars to present day teammate Dawson Knox, no player at the position has created a buzz like Kincaid.

Accordingly, talk follows such an impactful, high-profile player, especially here in Western New York where the calendar has been reduced to two seasons: football season and waiting for football season.

Here’s ten Dalton Kincaid rumors (mostly manufactured in the Buffalo Mud labs).

Dalton’s mon
  1. Has made inquires about purchasing WNY’s seventh hundredth Tim Horton’s franchise—Given the high praise he received from Dawson Knox for picking up snacks and getting coffee for the tight end room without being asked, he seems a natural.
  2. Is dating Josh Allen’s former girlfriend Brittany Williams on the down-low—Brittany’s not thrilled about being with another dude on a rookie contract but says he’s a great attentive kid.
  3. He wrote a paper on the Twilight series in college at Utah complaining about Edward’s plan to kill the whole Biology class just so he could drink Bella’s blood—The paper was graded C for overuse the word “bullshit” and endless dangling modifiers.
  4. He somehow got RANCH dressing at Bar-Bill and was seen dipping wings in the forbidden sauce—Matt Milano promptly escorted him to the back of the building and kicked his ass. 
  5. As a middle schooler he was cast in an after-school special called: “There’s Nothing Wrong With Being A Puppeteer.” Executives decided not to air the special because the subject matter was totally stupid. 
  6. He knocked up a bartender at Soho and possibly a nurse Buffalo GeneralNDA’s have been signed and filed. 
  7. Is a descendant of Eugenio Kincaid and secretly plans to convert everyone in Western New York to a Baptist— Eugenio was a missionary in Burma in the 1800’s.
  8. Thinks George Kittle is way funnier than Travis Kelce even though the Chiefs tight end hosted SNL.—Watch the video.
  9. Known to be a huge fan of Bob & Doug McKenzie despite the duo not being relevant since the 80’s—Coo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo! .
  10.  Laughs in a perverse manner during every iteration of Star Trek when the script turns to the “Captain’s Log.”—How do they miss that?
  11. Mom has a secret crush on local author P.A.KaneWhat lady of sixty years doesn’t?

Look for Kincaid starting September 11th when the Bills open the season against the New York Jets.