Buffalo, NY—Recently, local author P.A. Kane came across a YouTube video of former Columbia Records A&R executive Ellen Ziffren discussing her time in the studio with Bob Dylan during the making of what many consider his greatest album, Blood On The Tacks. The video prompted Kane, Amazon’s 1.5 millionth ranked most popular author, to claim his fifteen minutes of Dylan fame by recalling a chance encounter with the troubadour at his neighborhood drugstore during that same period.
It was a dreary Friday in November of 1975, and Dylan was in the midst of the first installment of the Rolling Thunder Revue, which had a stop at the Niagara Falls Convention Center the following night. Kane was in Parsons & Judd Pharmacy, the drugstore on the corner of his street, with his pal Kevin McNamara. Both were fourteen, and they had just scored a pint of blue raspberry MD2020, and were looking to make themselves even crazier by enhancing the brightly colored wine with Robitussin cough syrup.
Under the watchful eye of old Mrs. Klienschmidt, who pretended to be straightening things up in the candy aisle, Kane and McNamara quietly argued over whether to pay for the Robitussin or steal it. Kane wanted to boost the codeine-laced elixir, while the chickenshit future competitive floater, McNamara, insisted they pay for it.
Kane reasoned they might have to share their MD2020 with some girls at the park, so they should save their money in case they needed more. But little KevvyMac, who the girls were totally allergic to because of his ridiculously long head and his terrible jokes, was afraid they would get caught and get in trouble.
Frustrated with his friend, Kane considered punching McNamara in his seven-foot-long fucking head just when America’s poet laureate came through the front door, looking way too cool for their working-class neighborhood in a stylish scarf, dark sunglasses, unkempt hair, jeans, and a light leather jacket.
Despite his unconventional appearance, he moved to the counter just like anyone else and waited for old Mrs. Klienschmidt to finish her spying task. Kane turned toward his friend and asked, “Who’s the asshole in the shades?”
McNamara shrugged at first, but when he pushed his sunglasses up on his head, he recognized the wild haired poet, “Whoa—that’s Bob Dylan.”
“No way,” said Kane in disbelief
“Way, asshole. He’s playing Niagara Falls tomorrow.” McNamara then got in line behind the bard with the Robitussin.
What happened next kind of knocked Kane out.
Pleasant as can be Dylan says:
‘Two packs of Marlboros.’ Then he hands Mrs. Klienschmidt a dollar.
She replies, kind of annoyed, ‘That’s a dollar twenty.’
‘Oh,’ he says, reaching in his pocket. ‘We just come from Ohio. They were forty cents there.’
‘New York taxes,’ Mrs. Klienschmidt responds severely.
Throwing a second dollar on the counter, Dyan says, ‘Give me a third pack and keep the twenty cents. Buy yourself a smile.’
At the park, everyone was blown away with the encounter and Dylan’s line: Buy yourself a smile. The Robitussin-laced MD2020 was a hit as well. All the girls sidled up to Kane and, surprisingly enough, McNamara too. Peggy Ponnapart, who must have been working off a shit ton of bad karma from a previous life, got with longheaded Mac and Kane, ironically enough, paired up with Kelly Klienschmidt, old Mrs. Klienschmidt’s granddaughter.
Unfortunately, in addition to the Robitussin they bought, Kane did boost the second bottle and double-dosed the MD2020, causing Kelly Klienschmidt to puke all over him just as he was rounding into second base. Meanwhile, sitting on a park bench with McNamara, Peggy Ponnapart dosed off, but not before wrapping her arms around Mac’s giant oblong head and using it as a pillow.
The night didn’t turn out as well as it could have for both Kane and McNamara, but all these years later it’s still a pretty good story and KevMac is still a longheaded asshole.
