A Moment Of Silence For South Buffalo Legend Jack Conrad
Buffalo, NY—The flags at Buffalo Mud are at half mast as we mourn the unexpected passing of South Buffalo legend Jack Conrad. I first became aware of Jack from the …
Read MoreAuthor: P.A. Kane
Local Author Concludes It’s Impossible To Hate Tom Hanks And He Fucking Hates That
Buffalo, NY—Upon learning that movie icon, Tom Hanks, who the New York Times dubbed: An avatar of American goodness, had written both a book of short stories and now a …
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Tucker Carlson Spends Quiet Weekend Tanning Testicles With Don Jr. and Don Lemon
Bryant Pond, Maine—After his abrupt ouster from Fox News at the beginning of the week right wing host Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson is spending a quiet weekend tanning his testicles …
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Western New York Football Fans Worried About Josh Allen’s Pending Bachelor Status
Buffalo, NY—This past weekend Josh Allen’s longtime girlfriend Brittany Williams unfollowed the Bills quarterback and took down all the photos of them together from her Instagram page leading to speculation …
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Rock-n-Roll Board Of Governors Strips “Kid Rock” Of Title: Will Be Known As “Just Bob” From Now On
New York—Sitting at the table in the Chelsea Hotel on 223 West 23rd Street, where Lou Reed made out with David Bowie in 1973, the Rock-n-Roll Board of Governors voted …
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Random Text Message Inspires Local Man To Experiment With His Butthole
Niagara Falls, NY—Bobby Beancobb was at Sunglass Hut in the Factory Outlet Mall in Niagara Falls a couple of weekends ago trying on a pair of aviators when he received …
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Republican Candidate Chrissy “CaBoom” Casilio Goes Full “Homina Homina” Trying To Explain Right Wing Posts
Clarence, NY—Sporting a stunned “Who me?” expression and looking around for her daddy—Clarence Supervisor Patrick Casilio—Republican candidate for Erie County Executive, Chrissy “CaBoom” Casilio went through Jackie Gleason like “homina …
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Inspired By Oscar Winner Local Woman Intends To Stop Half-Assing Life
Amherst, NY—Inspired by sixty year old Michelle Yeouh who won her first Oscar this past weekend, Lorraine Lemonlight from Accounts Receivable at Delaware North, is determined to stop half assing …
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Despite Increased Marital Harmony Wife Of Local Author No Longer Finds Him Attractive
Buffalo, NY—Noting the recent harmony in their relationship, Donna Kane, the longtime wife of local author P.A. Kane came to the stunning conclusion that she is no longer attracted to …
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Jesus Becoming Increasingly Annoyed With The Adorableness Of Keanu Reeves
Heaven—Jesus Christ, the Son of God and a principal third of the Holy Trinity is becoming increasingly annoyed at the adorableness of actor Keanu Reeves. In every inch of his …
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