Nissan “Juke” Owner Is An Asshole
Orchard Park, NY— Bill Wellington, a thirty-one year old RN at the Orchard Park Immediate Care is an asshole about his Nissan Juke. The Juke is a subcompact crossover SUV …
Read MoreAuthor: P.A. Kane
Bulletproof Apparel: It’s Sensible And It Looks Good Too…
United States, America—With the new school year (aka the shooting season) ramping up parents are not only buying pencils and rulers, but the latest bulletproof apparel. As mass shootings continue …
Read MoreStudy Finds AR15 Owners Have Highest Prevalence Of Micro-Penises
Wheeling, WV—A wide-ranging study conducted by Schlong University found that military style, AR15 gun owners have the highest prevalence of micro-penises in the country. Lead researcher Dr. Christopher Hoggsealt said …
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Movement To Demote Local Drummer “Bad Ronald” To “Just Ronald” Growing
Buffalo NY—Through luck, happenstance and grace, local drummer Ron Leisten was bestowed with the moniker “Bad Ronald,” by legendary Western New York artist, Greg Sterlace. But as a result of …
Read MoreMusic Snob Says Yacht Rock Produces Extreme Feelings Of Indifference
West Seneca, NY—Music snob, and local author P.A.Kane (Leaving Jackson Wolf; Written In The Stars: The Book Of Molly) says that Yacht Rock radio— smooth, soulless niche music—produces feelings of …
Read MoreExtreme Sex Leads To Kaisertown Woman’s Death, Husband Faces Possible Charges
Buffalo NY—A 911 call was placed by Kaisertown resident Stan Dombrowski when his wife, Marion became unresponsive during an extended session of coitus. The couple had recently resumed their long …
Read MoreThe Real Places Where Trump Was A First Responder
Washington D.C.—This past week President Trump signed a bill permanently reauthorizing the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund, which provides health care funding for surviving first responders of the nine-eleven terror …
Read MoreMature Kaisertown Woman Stumbles Onto Secret For Mind Blowing Sex
Buffalo NY—After years of a shaky sexless marriage Marion Dombrowski of Kaisertown finally talked her way too proud husband Stan into securing pills to help him and her with his …
Read MoreI Am A Handsome Stable Genius
Grove City, Pa.— Most people are lucky to go through life possessing one noble quality. Perhaps they are as honest as the day is long. Or as dependable as the …
Read MoreTony Robbins’ Neck Is Missing And He Is The Asshole We Always Knew He Was
Palm Beach, Fl—Judging from recent images, where his collar butts up to his granite chin and jaw, it appears that motivational speaker and New York Times best-selling author Tony Robbins …
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