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Author: P.A. Kane

Local

Mychajliw’s Hotline Receives Two-Hundred-Forty-One Calls Regarding Howard Stern’s Penis

June 28, 2019July 23, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—To raise his political profile for an expected run at the NY27 congressional seat in 2020, Erie County Comptroller, Stefan Mychajliw (Mychajliw– pronounced: Opportunitstfuckingasshole) is using county’s Whistleblower Hotline …

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Sports

Twenty Years Later “No Goal” Still Makes Locals Feel Like Losers

June 23, 2019June 25, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo NY— In the long, knife twisting history of Buffalo sports futility No Goal is only out flanked by Wide Right. June 19, 2019 marked the twentieth anniversary of Brett …

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Arts/Living

Death Magazine Says “Vaping” Is The Lamest Way To Die

June 10, 2019June 10, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

New York, NY—This week Death Magazine published its annual “Lamest Way To Die,” edition and topping this year’s list was vaping. With the introduction e-cigarettes in 2007, vaping has grown …

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Sports

Marine Drive Dog Out To Pee Accidentally Runs Buffalo Half Marathon And Places Fifth

May 27, 2019May 28, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—A four-year old bloodhound named Klondike was out for his morning pee when he accidently caught on with runners along the Marine Drive stretch of the Buffalo Half Marathon. …

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National

Middle Scool Teacher Disturbed By Endless Fucking Emails From Joe Biden

May 20, 2019May 20, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

West Seneca, NY—Larry Puddlenut, an Algebra teacher at West Middle School is disturbed by the abundance of emails he is receiving from Joe Biden. A lifelong Democrat and contributor to …

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Arts/Living

Game Of Boned!

May 14, 2019May 14, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

“Why the hell can’t anyone stick the landing?” Local Pennsylvanian and Senior Mud Contributor- David P. Zach has a problem with how storytellers are wrapping up their tales. “I don’t …

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Local

New Injury Law Firm With Familiar Name Begins Operation In Buffalo…YES, It’s More Cellinos- God Help Us!

May 3, 2019June 21, 2023 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—For decades Ross Cellino and Steve Barnes of the injury law firm Cellino & Barnes have been a constant in Western New York with their jingles, billboards and endless …

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Local

Local Author Faces Shakedown Over Baywatch Reel

April 18, 2019April 21, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—Local author P.A.Kane (Leaving Jackson Wolf; Written In The Stars:The Book Of Molly) is the subject of a shakedown by an unknown entity threatening to release his Baywatch reel …

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Arts/Living

Ex-Wife Of Amazon Founder Never To Sleep with Another Dork

April 14, 2019March 21, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

Seattle Wa.—MacKenzie Bezos recently reached a thirty-five billion dollar divorce settlement with her husband of twenty-five years, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. While the split was couched in gauzy terms: loving …

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Local

Teens Involved In Dangerous Dry Humping Behaviors Missing

April 3, 2019April 3, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—Officials at Erie County Medical Center announced today two Kaisertown teens involved in a dry humping accident are missing from the hospital’s burn unit. The teens were rushed to …

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Recent Posts

  • Study Finds Western New Yorkers Think About Josh Allen Two Hundred Seventy-One Minutes Per Day
  • Local Author Electrifies All Four People At Last Event Of The Year
  • Local Author To Pursue Work Of Devastating Power And Beauty
  • Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
  • Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit

Recent Posts

  • Study Finds Western New Yorkers Think About Josh Allen Two Hundred Seventy-One Minutes Per Day
  • Local Author Electrifies All Four People At Last Event Of The Year
  • Local Author To Pursue Work Of Devastating Power And Beauty
  • Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
  • Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit
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