HHS Nominee Alex Azar Confused With Fantasy Sports Host Adam Aizer

Share
Alex Azar
Adam Aizer

Washington D.C.—It started on their Twitter feeds, Health and Human Services nominee Alex Azar was peppered with questions about fair trade value for suspended Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott and if Rams quarterback Jared Goff was a weekly play for the rest of the season, while at the same time CBS Fantasy Football Today podcast host Adam Aizer, was asked what his role was in the insulin collusion case when he was an executive at Eli Lilly and if he was on board with the repeal of Obamacare.

Unsure where these questions were coming from the HHS nominee,  Azar, wanting to get off on the right foot with the public and also fantasy player, answered the questions. He said, short of picking up Alfred Morris, he thought Doug Martin, Ty Montgomery or Marlon Mack would be good value and yes, he expected Jared Goff to be a good play the rest of season.

On that day’s podcast Aizer, confused by the Twitter questions, said he would comment on the occasional movie or band or do a poll about the best breakfast cereals, but Obamacare?… Eli Lilly?… “All I’ll say about Obama is that he would look really good in an Indochino suit and I don’t know Eli Lilly, I know Bob Lilly, Hall of Fame Defensive Tackle from the Cowboys, but not any Eli Lilly. Still, I bet both those guys would look good in Indochino suits too, starting at an amazing $329.”

Later that same day HHS nominee, Azar was on Erick Erickson’s radio show and several callers wanted to know what a fantasy football host was doing on a conservative talk program and why weren’t FFT senior analysts and co-hosts Dave Richard, Jamey Eisenberg or Heath Cummings chosen ahead of him, since all he seemed good for was pimping  Indochino suits and SeatGeeks ? Another angry caller yelling into the phone said Die Hard… IS a Christmas movie and the BONANZAS… were killing him. An awkward silence followed before Erickson tried one more call and that person wanted to know if he really was “the hairy little bastard” his co-hosts said he was? Not knowing what to do with this Erickson moved on, asking Azar what were the biggest challenges facing HHS.

That week, on the Saturday night radio show, Eye On Fantasy Football, which Aizer hosted with Jamie Eisenberg,  things didn’t go much better much better. A caller from Milwaukee, Wi. wanted to know if he was committed to giving healthcare back to the people by ending the government takeover of Medicare? Another caller from Berkeley Ca. wanted to know if Aizer supported the removal of the Obamacare mandate from the new Republican tax plan?

“Again with the Obamacare. C’mon guys this is a fantasy football show, ask us some fantasy questions, let us help you win your league.” Aizer said, his voice cracking with boyish frustration as Eisenberg giggled in the background.

They went to a break, but from there things didn’t get any better. A caller from Fort Lauderdale Fl. sounding eerily like Dave Richard wanted to know when open enrollment for Obamacare was going to end? Then another caller from Florida sounding like Heath Cummings wanted to know if he could pay for his plantar warts medication with his health savings account?

“NOT FUNNY DAVE, NOT FUNNY HEATH,” Aizer responded in the shrill, indignant voice that always got him sent to his room as a kid after losing his temper while playing backgammon or Madden.

With Eisenberg still giggling Aizer pleaded with the audience for fantasy relevant questions, but the next call was from Aizer’s mom. She was not happy and said, “You watch that tone, mister!”

“But, mom, the guys are…”

Aizer’s mom cut him off and said, “No buts young man, the guys are having fun with you and you need to play along. When you get home tonight go directly to your room and stay there till I call you.”

“Yes, mom,” Aizer said sheepishly.

From there the show slowly re-centered on fantasy strategies as Eisenberg, who finally stopped giggling, informed Aizer  people on his  Twitter feed were saying he was being confused with HHS nominee Alex Azar.

 

  

    

 

   

About P.A. Kane

Writer and payer of tuition.

View all posts by P.A. Kane →