Ted Cruz Porn Revelations Has Adult Industry Reeling

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Modesto Ca.—Ted Cruz is pictured in his Twitter feed looking augustly into the future above a profile that proudly states: Father of two, @heidiecruz’s husband, fighter for liberty. Representing the great state of Texas in the U.S. Senate.

That profile can now also include “liker” of MILF porn after an explicit video depicting an interaction between adult actress Cory Chase, a fictional stepdaughter and a vigorous young man showed up in his Twitter feed. The post has the porn world reeling.

Reached for comment Cory Chase said, “I’m all right with Orrin Hatch, Ben Sass or even Mitch McConnell viewing my work and waxin’ their President Johnson, but Ted Cruz, euuhhh. That guy is a two-faced creep. I’m not sure I can continue in this business. This has really rocked my world .”

Cruz blamed the post on a staffer who made an “honest mistake” and admitted to watching porn only once as a law clerk in the 90’s when the Supreme Court was making a decision on regulating adult industry. As Solicitor General of Texas, he once argued for a ban on sex toys, stating there is: “no substantive due process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes.” It’s an argument credited to and used by @hedicruz to keep the vampirish family values Senator at bay.

Industry actresses are also disturbed by the Cruz revelations. A support group formed by Cherry Poppins released this statement: Members of our community have gathered together and are engaged in a therapeutic process. We are working through the implications of the these revelations and will have further comment when appropriate. Oh, and Ted Cruz… fucking gross.

As industry actresses process the the Cruz developments all porn related productions have come to a grinding halt. Adult film producer Seymour Dix, (Who’s Nalin Palin (Sarah) and Forest Hump) said, “I can’t find anybody to staff my Halloween feature, Night of Giving Head 2017. It’s so bad I’ve had to reach out to my Russian contacts, but they’re unwilling too. They yell some shit at me in Russian, mention Cruz’s name and then start crying. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Cruz could not be reached for comment.  

 

About P.A. Kane

Writer and payer of tuition.

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