Local Author To Pursue Work Of Devastating Power And Beauty
West Seneca, NY—Growing frustrated at having his eye almost poked out week after week while cutting the grass around the overgrown Rose of Sharon bush in his yard, a voice …
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Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
Manchester, England—The closest Oasis will get to Buffalo on their massive world tour is a couple of dates at Rogers Stadium in Toronto at the end of August. On the …
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Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit
Buffalo, NY—Marcus Aurelius was the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 during the Nerva-Antonine dynasty, a period of relative peace and stability across the vast Roman Empire. He was also …
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Bezos Sanchez Wedding Definitive Proof There Is No God
Venice, Italy—This past weekend, Amazon dork and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew look-alike, Jeff Bezos, married giant silicon-breasted lizard woman, Lauren Sanchez, in a lavish fifty-million-dollar ceremony in Venice, Italy. Since the …
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Old Man With Device That Shoots Oranges Terrorizing Teens At Park
Buffalo, NY—An old man with a device that shoots oranges has been terrorizing teens at Delaware Park. Images of the old man and his orange propulsion device have surfaced, but …
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Area Teachers Preparing For Heavy End Year Drinking
Western New York—As the school year comes to a close this week, area teachers are not only creating summer reading lists, grading exams, and buttoning up classrooms, but also are …
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ChatGPT Deems Local Author’s Appearance: “More Compelling Than Stereotypical Hotness”
Local author, P.A.Kane was putting together a flyer to promote his latest book, “Larry Plumb Is Still Here.” When he showed his wife the picture he intended to use, she …
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Love Triangle Throws Pickleball League Into Disarray
Buffalo, NY—At the end of St. Casmir’s fall pickleball league in Kaisertown, ballroom dance instructor Pepper Parabola underwent knee replacement surgery. In addition to her longtime boyfriend, Tim Trapizoid, helping …
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Local Woman Finds Clarity And Healing Through Self-Care
Buffalo, NY—This week Buffalo State English professor Sandra Swillobee ended her eighteen-month relationship with arborist Glenn Guildinspruce. To reduce the sting of this heartbreak, Swillobee has employed self-care techniques for …
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Seeing Nephew In Jets Gear, Uncle Paul Mobilizes Intervention
Rockland County, NY—When he came across a photo of his three-year-old nephew, Parker, sporting New York Jets gear on social media, Uncle Paul copied it and sent a WTF?—text to …
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