Buffalo, NY—Now that the Sleepy Joe and the woke liberal mob in Washington have stomped on our freedom and have total control of our lives, (i.e.—like when Obama took all the guns away) we here at Buffalo Mud wanted to help our massive local audience stay on the right side of the law by providing an ever evolving list of drop-off locations for now-banned items:
RED MEAT – you can bring your ground beef, rump roasts, filets, and other assorted bovine by-products to the YMCA on Cayuga near the airport. You can also bring PRIME RIB ONLY to the Reinstein Memorial Library. If it’s closed use the after-hours book drop.
MENTHOL CIGARETTES – Big Jimmy’s Chew & Spit Wholesale outlet in Larkinville will provide cash refunds of $200 on FULL CARTONS of Newports, Kools and Salems. Don’t be coming up on Big Jim with loose packs or singles— Big Jim WILL knock your Alive with pleasure! ass into next week.
BOOKS – As per the President’s speech this week, all books authored by any heirs to the Swanson Frozen Dinners fortune are to be destroyed by the end of May. There will be continually burning bonfires on the corners of and for your convenience. (Side note – don’t come with Fahrenheit 451 and think you’re being ironic. Dumbass)
GUNS – please leave your guns out at the end of your driveway on your normal trash day. NOTE!!! THIS IS FOR GUNS ONLY. We understand this might not have any practical value since Obama already confiscated all the guns, but Sleepy Joe wants the firearms that may have slipped through the cracks. We also understand that many of you have cases upon cases of ammunition, and you’re all terribly disappointed that a civil war has not broken out. Again—thanks Obama. Please be patient—Rome wasn’t built or destroyed in a day.
BOOZE – While alcohol has not been banned YET, if you want to get a headstart you can take any and all bottled spirits to the Body Shop Gentleman’s Club. (All black label bourbon can be sent to P.A.Kane, c/o Buffalo Mud, 2112 Limelight Blvd. Mudville, NY).
VOLUNTARY – We know many of you are feeling anxious about the wrath of Sleepy Joe’s vaccines, science and renewable energy — you know, the socialist takeover. To alleviate your fears of being accosted by the liberal mob that wants to give you health care and 21st century infrastructure we will be setting up drop-off points where you can stash your MAGA hats and underwear, Toby Keith CDs, and MyPillows on the down low for use at a later date. Check the thread on Parler titled: Sleepy Joe’s Super Secret MAGA Closet for more information.
Thank you for your cooperation as we all do our part to help Buffalo step proudly into Sleepy Joe’s 21st century!!