Benny, At The End Of The Bar Is Stepping Up The Bullshit
Buffalo, NY—Benny Bleetner occupies the last bar stool at Molly Maguire’s daily from 4-9pm and recently has stepped up his bullshit game. He had grown tired of all the nonsense …
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Transport Driver Endures Hours Trapped In Vehicle Set To WBEN
Buffalo, NY—Enterprise-rent-a-car transport driver Kurt Kurchacha was trapped in a vehicle tuned into MAGA 930 WBEN this past Friday. Kurchacha, a retired dance instructor at Rosalita’s Salsa Studio, endured several …
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Even The Grim Reaper Is Depressed After Bills Latest Loss To The Chiefs
Buffalo, NY—Following the Buffalo Bills latest playoff loss to the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC Championship game, the Grim Reaper swept through Western New York and called home fifty-seven …
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Local Woman Crushed Boyfriend’s Initial Call Was Prompted By The Shape of Her Ass
I-77S, United States—Dawn Deitrich and Dave Dornsfinger have been in a relationship for fourteen years. In a moment of spontaneity, the couple decided this week to escape the freezing Western …
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Nobel Prize Winning Local Author P.A.Kane Fully Embraces End of Social Media Fact Checking
Buffalo, NY—Meta chief executive Mark Zuckerberg announced last week an end to fact-checking on the company’s various platforms, including Facebook and Instagram. To ensure maximum freedom of expression and speech, …
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Area Loudmouths Prepare Bills Collapse
Buffalo, NY—Skills familiar to many Western New Yorkers include negotiating a snowstorm, finding a good fish fry, and breaking tables after finishing a twelve-pack. Western New Yorkers also know how …
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Ten New Year’s Resolutions
A quick survey of resolutions across Western New York in the New Year: Wanda Wannamaker— (School bus driver, Cheektowaga) “I’m resolved to falling in love again. Well, maybe not love, …
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After Thirteen Straight Years of Christmas Sabres Tickets, Amherst Siblings Want to Know Why Uncle John Fucking Hates Them
Amherst, NY—For the last thirteen years, John Jackinjoff has gifted his nephews Jimmy( 21) and Joey (23) Jackinjoff Sabres tickets at Christmas. This year, however, when the nephews found tickets …
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Hallmark Channel Options “Bad Ronald” Christmas Story
Los Angeles, California—Executives at the Hallmark Channel have optioned a made-for-TV Christmas movie featuring Punk716 frontman “Bad Ronald.” The script and story were written by local author P.A.Kane, and is …
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Local Man Improves Mental Health Barking Back at World Like His Dog
Lackawanna, NY—Recently, Tommy Tinsel, a CSX train engineer, has been observing the barking patterns of his dog, Kaya Francis Bean. Since his wife of sixteen years, Terri, left him for …
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