South Buffalo Man Misplaces His Ass
Buffalo, NY—M.Purtil Plumbing Office Manager and South Buffalo resident, Jack Conrad woke up Saturday morning and found that his ass was missing. Conrad turned over his house several times, looked …
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Valley Old Neighborhood Parade, Not Really A Parade Says UB Researchers
Buffalo, NY—Researchers from the University of Buffalo’s Anthropology Department have recently published a paper in Parade Today magazine arguing the Valley’s “Old Neighborhood,” St. Patrick’s Day Parade, isn’t really a …
Read MoreBuffalo City Hall Named Phallic Structure Of The Year Again
Buffalo, NY—For the tenth consecutive Buffalo City Hall was named Phallic Structure of the Year by Architectural Digest. The 1931, thirty-two story Art Deco building was designed by architects …
Read MoreThe Return Of Buffman
By David P. Zach—Senior Mud Contributor. Good news snowflakes: Marvel Studios has contracted with Martin Scorsese to bring their beloved superhero Buffman to the big screen! Buffman was a staple …
Read MoreDitched Delivery Driver Questions Life Choices
Arcade, NY—On the Saturday before Christmas, with darkness approaching, steady snow and thirty-seven deliveries left, rural FedEx Express driver Chuck Ollenburg’s Mercedes Sprinter slipped helplessly into a ditch off of …
Read MoreLocal Man Files Suit Against Himself For Mental And Sexual Abuse
Buffalo, NY—An unemployed forty-three year old restaurant worker from the Old First Ward, John Dunphy, alleged mental and sexual abuse against himself in Buffalo Civil Court last week. In the …
Read MoreWe Hurt Too: # Bald Lives Matter
Orchard Park, NY—Despite solid families, big jobs, vacation homes in Florida and being the 1.5 millionth ranked Amazon author the follically-challenged Kane brothers still hurt. For years there were the …
Read MoreWoman Mistakes Hair Trimmer For Sex Toy, Spends Hours Grooming Boyfriend
Buffalo, NY—Maria Herculano, a forty year old Dietician recently started to openly complain that her four year relationship with boyfriend Paul Richardson, a forty-two year old Optical Lab Equipment salesman, …
Read MoreTrillionth Play Of Hotel California Drains Man’s Will To Live
West Seneca, NY—Fifty-Five year old freelance Efficiency Expert, Frank Deely, has spent a lifetime observing workplace operations all over the country. While his job lands him in many diverse places …
Read MoreOffensive Cake Spurs Civil Lawsuit
Senior Mud Contributor—David P. Zach Buffalo, NY—A civil lawsuit has been filed in Buffalo City Court against the owners of Calvin’s Bakery in North Park, by Mikey O’Connell of University …
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