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West Seneca Family Praises Son/Brother On Twenty-Fourth Birthday

April 24, 2021April 25, 2021 - by P.A. Kane

West Seneca, NY—The twenty-fourth birthday of Lenorard Luthenpoe was recently celebrated at his parents house with a dinner of Indian takeout that included chicken marsala, samosas and plenty of naan …

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Arts/Living / Local

97 Rock Keeps Same Unimaginative Programming Despite Shakeup

April 11, 2021April 12, 2021 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—This week the remaining members of 97 Rock’s “Morning Bull Show,” Rich Gaenzler, Chis Klein and program director, John Hagar were terminated as a result of a racially insensitive …

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Local

Local Man Dreading Return To Normal As Pandemic Nears End

April 2, 2021June 9, 2021 - by P.A. Kane

Snyder, NY—While most Western New Yorkers dreaded a weather forecast that predicted a half-foot of snow this weekend, Larry Hemster, a marketing manager at Rosina Foods was pretty excited. Hemster …

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Arts/Living / Local

Local Music Snob Recalls Personal Chappaquiddick After Learning Van Morrison Plays Sax…

March 27, 2021March 27, 2021 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—After clicking on a “Days Like This,” video by Van Morrison in his Facebook feed local Spot Coffee espresso technician and music snob, Hartford Wagmuzzle was shocked to learn …

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Local

Jack Conrad Prompts Area Women To Question The Necessity Of Men

March 13, 2021May 12, 2023 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—In an over the top voice everybody’s favorite South Buffalonian, Jack Conrad held court among a socially distanced, pandemic appropriate crowd at the Blackthorn on Seneca Street this past …

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Local

Societal Decay Hits Home In South Buffalo

February 16, 2021January 10, 2023 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—Early Monday morning dog walkers crossing the icy suspension bridge at the third hole of Caz Golf Course came upon a horrifying of scene. At least a thirty-pack of …

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Local

Local Man Finally Accepts His Best Friends Are Assholes

February 12, 2021August 19, 2022 - by P.A. Kane

Cheektowaga, NY—After five years of arguing, Chuck Wagonblott, an English teacher at Amherst High School has finally accepted that his lifelong friends are assholes. A downcast Wagonblott said, “The last …

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Local

Local Family Pleads With Georgia To Return Their Aunt Hazel

February 4, 2021February 6, 2021 - by P.A. Kane

“The McMumford Family of East Aurora want Aunt Hazel to know that they miss her and want her to come back home.” That was the sole line of last night’s …

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Local

Local Man Learning People Aren’t Always Fucking Assholes

December 18, 2020December 19, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

West Seneca, NY—For the most part, Bill Tomlinson, a shift supervisor at the Ford plant in Hamburg has gone through his entire adult life thinking people are fucking assholes. But, …

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Arts/Living / Local

Clarence Man Wrecks Carefully Planned Dinner With Embarrassing Shit

December 13, 2020September 22, 2022 - by P.A. Kane

Clarence, NY—For years Clarence residents, Frank & Marie Stonefinger, Teddy & Stephanie Woppelganger and John & Stella Hobbletree have gotten together twice a month for dinner and drinks. But in …

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  • West Seneca Man Struggling To Hide His Intellectual Past
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Recent Posts

  • West Seneca Man Struggling To Hide His Intellectual Past
  • Snyder Man Stuggling To Hide His Red Neck Past
  • Local Bartender Bracing For Weekend Of Lame Irish Revelers Hitting On Her
  • Buffalo Ex-Patriot Prepping For Grind Of Floating Season
  • Study Finds Western New Yorkers Think About Josh Allen Two Hundred Seventy-One Minutes Per Day
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