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Author: P.A. Kane

National

Mike Pence Experiences Further Shrinkage With Kamala Harris Pick

August 13, 2020August 14, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Washington D.C.—Even though he was far removed from any kind of swimming situation, a less than robust Mike Pence experienced further penile shrinkage as the result of Kamala Harris being …

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National

Internal Audit Of White Supremacist’s Groups Finds Nothing All That Supreme About Movement Or Members

August 6, 2020August 7, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

United States, America—An internal audit of white supremacist’s groups found nothing exceptional about the movement or its members. Fearful of the growing popularity of the “Black Lives Matter” movement, the …

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National

Oregon Militia Spokesman: “Oops! A Lot Of Us Were On Vacation When The Secret Police Showed Up In Portland.”

July 23, 2020July 9, 2022 - by P.A. Kane

Portland, Oregon—As a result of fifty days of unrest, stemming from the murder of George Floyd, President Trump has taken the unprecedented step of deploying federal agents in tactical military …

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National

Tea Party Budget Hawks Have Other Shit To Do Now

July 21, 2020July 21, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Erie, Pa.—The headline made me sick to my stomach—especially with a Republican heading the goverment: “US Budget Deficit Shatters Record. “ How had we taken our eye off the ball? …

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National

President Trump Seeks Advice On School Reopening From Mr. Kotter

July 16, 2020July 17, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Washington D.C.—This past week President Trump retweeted a post from game show host Chuck Woolery saying the media, the Democrats and the CDC are lying about Covid 19 to block …

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Local

Local Man Heartbroken To Learn Children Plan To Throw All His Shit Away After He Dies

July 11, 2020July 12, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—John Fleederhosuer, a seventy-nine year retired UAW machinist was shocked and heartbroken to learn that upon his death his two grown children plan to throw all his shit away.  …

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National

Native American Protesters Told To “Go Home” By Trump Supporters At Fourth of July Celebration

July 5, 2020July 6, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Mount Rushmore, South Dakota—Ahead of a campaign style celebration at Mount Rushmore this past Fourth of July weekend supporters of President Trump called on protesting Native Americans of the Sioux …

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Sports

Jack Eichel Reveals He’s A Juggalo: Bummed Summer “Gathering” Is Cancelled

June 28, 2020June 29, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

North Chelmsford, Massachusetts—Buffalo Sabres star forward Jack Eichel revealed this week he is a fan of the hardcore hip hop duo, Insane Clown Posse (ICP)and considers himself a Juggalo. Following …

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Sports

Fired Sabretooth Happy To Be Moving On

June 20, 2020April 18, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—Overlooked in the Buffalo Sabres dismissal of twenty-two employees this past week, which included General Manager, Jason Botterill, his assistants and scouting staff, along with Chis Taylor and his …

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Local

Senior Citizen ANTIFA Members Step Forward With Message: Don’t Fuck With Us!!!

June 13, 2020June 13, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY— Earlier this week President Trump retweeted  a report by @OANN suggesting 75 year-old Buffalo protester, Martin Gugino, who was pushed to the ground by police and was bleeding …

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Recent Posts

  • Buffalo Ex-Patriot Prepping For Grind Of Floating Season
  • Study Finds Western New Yorkers Think About Josh Allen Two Hundred Seventy-One Minutes Per Day
  • Local Author Electrifies All Four People At Last Event Of The Year
  • Local Author To Pursue Work Of Devastating Power And Beauty
  • Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour

Recent Posts

  • Buffalo Ex-Patriot Prepping For Grind Of Floating Season
  • Study Finds Western New Yorkers Think About Josh Allen Two Hundred Seventy-One Minutes Per Day
  • Local Author Electrifies All Four People At Last Event Of The Year
  • Local Author To Pursue Work Of Devastating Power And Beauty
  • Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
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