Niagara Falls, N.Y.—Driving down Military Road toward their house on 77th Street, Fiona Friesendorf turned to her husband, Finn, who was at the wheel of their Toyota, Tacoma, and informed him that their friendship with the Muffs—Mary and Milton had reached a new level. Finn asked what she meant, and his wife of fourteen years said that her comfort level with the Muffs was such that she now felt comfortable doing a number two at their house.
The Friesendorf and Muffs have played Euchre weekly for the last couple of years. They’ve also shared many dinners and concerts and have gone on vacation together. But it wasn’t until the Thursday night Euchre game that any of them had taken the massive step of dropping a number two at the other’s house.
“That’s big, considering the tragedy at your parent’s house,” Finn said.
Finn was referring to his unfortunate reaction to some cauliflower bites from the Olive Garden when they first started dating and were out to dinner with Fiona’s parents. The bites, which were discharged in the half-bath off her parent’s family room, left the lower level of the house stinking for three days and resulted in Fiona’s dad calling Finn, Poopypants, until the day he died. Finn could still hear the stinging rebuke—“Poopypants just had to have the eight-dollar cauliflower bites instead of the free breadsticks.” Then he would make an extended flatulent sound, putting his hand over his mouth.
“I know. But there I was with the egg salad and olive wrap I had for lunch taxiing down the runway, and I just took a giant leap and went for it. I told myself, if this goes wrong, our friendship is strong enough that it will survive.”
The following Saturday, after catching a set by the great Niagara Falls cover band The Woodroes at the Griffon Brewery and Gastropub, they stopped at the Friesendorf’s for a nightcap. While sipping their drinks, Fiona giggled and said, “ I have a confession to make.” Finn put up his hand and shook his head not to tell them. “Relax Poopypants, it’ll be fine.” Then she looked at the Muffs directly and told them about the egg salad and olive wrap that left the train station in their bathroom after their Euchre game on Thursday.
Laughter ensued among both couples, and then Mary reached across the table and put her hand on Fiona’s arm and said, “I appreciate that you had enough faith in our friendship that you felt free to take a shit in my house.” Looking Fiona in the eye, she lingered momentarily and said, “I feel so close to you now.”
The couples embraced warmly when their drinks were done and it was time to go. Mary again thanked Fiona for her honesty and her faith in their friendship, adding, “I’m glad we got here and I can’t wait to take a shit in your house.”
