Buffalo, NY—Hello. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus and all the rest. I wanted to take a moment at the end of the year to wish all Mud readers and their families peace and love during this season of hope. I likewise want to thank everyone for their continued support, even as the site has temporarily gone dark (more on that in the moment).
Additionally, I would like to grab hands with everyone and remind you to get all your stuff tightened up for the coming year because holy shit, 2024 is looking like it will test us in ways we can’t yet imagine. Please, get those prescriptions filled, know the locations of your nearest dispensaries and if you still insist on wearing tighty whities—this is the year to switch to boxers. Peace and love and may we endure and thrive.
As many of you know Buffalo Mud has temporarily gone dark as I work on a TV show I’m writing and starring in called “Baywatch Silver.” Set in Malibu, the project is the mature spinoff of the 90’s show “Baywatch.” I play a hairy and resplendent lifeguard who patrols the beach and provides aid and comfort to rich, vacant Malibu housewives and their mothers. The project is going quite well but there have been a few bumps in the road.
Producers are pushing hard to manscape away my hairy gloriousness. They want to turn me into some prepubescent boy with a cracking voice or worse, into a twit like the Golden Bachelor. But as stated in my last post, one of the objectives of this project was to reassert the “the hairy” back into the culture with the help of former Bills quarterback and fellow warrior in fur, Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Another issue has been my co-star, Paulina Porizkova has fallen hopelessly in love with me. She’s great to work with and so much fun to be around but her constant attempts to seduce me has sometimes gotten in the way of the important work we’re trying to accomplish with the project.
Finally, there have been some epic throwdowns with producers trying to reign in budgets. Great art, like a willowy sunset or a wave crashing on a beach can’t be measured on a spreadsheet. We’re not just trying to titillate and tantalize—we’re trying to tell real stories. The last episode we shot, “Crabs Again,” was a few dollars over budget, but the story was so rich and filled with such human drama, surely that’s worth a few extra bucks.
My friends, so long for now. We’ll see you down the road. Peace. Go Bills!!!
