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Local Woman Crushed Boyfriend’s Initial Call Was Prompted By The Shape of Her Ass

January 25, 2025January 25, 2025 - by P.A. Kane

I-77S, United States—Dawn Deitrich and Dave Dornsfinger have been in a relationship for fourteen years. In a moment of spontaneity, the couple decided this week to escape the freezing Western …

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Local

Nobel Prize Winning Local Author P.A.Kane Fully Embraces End of Social Media Fact Checking

January 17, 2025January 18, 2025 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—Meta chief executive Mark Zuckerberg announced last week an end to fact-checking on the company’s various platforms, including Facebook and Instagram. To ensure maximum freedom of expression and speech, …

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Local / Sports

Area Loudmouths Prepare Bills Collapse

January 12, 2025January 15, 2025 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—Skills familiar to many Western New Yorkers include negotiating a snowstorm, finding a good fish fry, and breaking tables after finishing a twelve-pack. Western New Yorkers also know how …

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Local

Ten New Year’s Resolutions

January 3, 2025January 3, 2025 - by P.A. Kane

A quick survey of resolutions across Western New York in the New Year: Wanda Wannamaker— (School bus driver, Cheektowaga) “I’m resolved to falling in love again. Well, maybe not love, …

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Local / Sports

After Thirteen Straight Years of Christmas Sabres Tickets, Amherst Siblings Want to Know Why Uncle John Fucking Hates Them

December 26, 2024December 27, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

Amherst, NY—For the last thirteen years, John Jackinjoff has gifted his nephews Jimmy( 21) and Joey (23) Jackinjoff Sabres tickets at Christmas. This year, however, when the nephews found tickets …

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Arts/Living / Local

Hallmark Channel Options “Bad Ronald” Christmas Story

December 20, 2024December 20, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

Los Angeles, California—Executives at the Hallmark Channel have optioned a made-for-TV Christmas movie featuring Punk716 frontman “Bad Ronald.” The script and story were written by local author P.A.Kane, and is …

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Local

Local Man Improves Mental Health Barking Back at World Like His Dog

December 13, 2024December 18, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

Lackawanna, NY—Recently, Tommy Tinsel, a CSX train engineer, has been observing the barking patterns of his dog, Kaya Francis Bean. Since his wife of sixteen years, Terri, left him for …

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Local / Sports

Stefon Diggs: “Maybe It Was Me”…

November 21, 2024November 23, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

This past offseason disgruntled Buffalo Bills wide out Stefon Diggs was traded to the Houston Texans for a 2025 second-round draft pick. Despite all-pro talent, Diggs and his accompanying drama—showing …

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Local

South Buffalo Man Solves Vodka Problem With Bourbon

November 1, 2024November 1, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

South Buffalo—On a recent visit to his favorite liquor store, Abbott Wine & Spirits, South Buffalo native Frank Forkemworm started to think that perhaps he was drinking too much—not too …

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Local

Local Author Plagued by the Tyranny of Oxford Comma

October 20, 2024November 30, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—Ahead of the release of his latest novel, Larry Plumb Is Still Here, local author P.A. Kane has been plagued by the tyranny of the Oxford comma and other …

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  • On Fortieth Birthday Father Informs Son He Must Either Get Serious About World War II History Or Smoking Meats
  • Mailroom Guy Annoys The Shit Out Of Coworkers With His Mock Drafts
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