Bills Fans Assemble At Airport To Greet AJ McCarron’s… Mom
Cheektowaga NY—This past weekend the air at Prior Aviation was ripe with the scent of Hai Karate and the parking lot jammed with a vast array of Camaros, F150s and …
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South Buffalo Man Misplaces His Ass
Buffalo, NY—M.Purtil Plumbing Office Manager and South Buffalo resident, Jack Conrad woke up Saturday morning and found that his ass was missing. Conrad turned over his house several times, looked …
Read MoreValley Old Neighborhood Parade, Not Really A Parade Says UB Researchers
Buffalo, NY—Researchers from the University of Buffalo’s Anthropology Department have recently published a paper in Parade Today magazine arguing the Valley’s “Old Neighborhood,” St. Patrick’s Day Parade, isn’t really a …
Read MoreLocal Author Thinks He Might Have A Shot With Uma Thurman
Buffalo, New York—After learning Oscar winner, Gary Oldman (The Darkest Hour) was previously married to Uma Thurman for two years, local author P.A. Kane (Written In The Stars: The Book …
Read MorePreparing For Crash White House Staffers Make Lifeboat Inquiries
Washington D.C.—This week an unhinged President Trump accepted the resignation of chief confidant Hope Hicks, referred to Attorney General, Jeff Sessions as DISGRACEFUL, embraced many of the left’s positions on …
Read MoreShocking Amount of Chevy Monte Carlos In Alden Trailer Park
Alden, N.Y.—Despite ceasing production in 2007, a shocking amount of Chevy Monte Carlos have been spotted in the Seabrook trailer park in Alden, New York. More vexing than the existence …
Read MoreBuffalo City Hall Named Phallic Structure Of The Year Again
Buffalo, NY—For the tenth consecutive Buffalo City Hall was named Phallic Structure of the Year by Architectural Digest. The 1931, thirty-two story Art Deco building was designed by architects …
Read MoreNRA Staffers Annoyed At Being Called Into Work After Massacre
Fairfax, Va.—In the wake of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida that left seventeen dead and five injured, NRA communication staffers Whitaker Thompson and …
Read MoreTen-Year Old’s Illusions Shattered By Embarrassing Father
Charlotte, NC—Maeve McNamara, a fifth grader at Landsowne Elementary School had her illusions shattered this past weekend when her father Kevin, dressed in blue suede shoes and a flower infected, …
Read MoreResearchers Find Boomer And Gen X Men Desire Old School Discipline And Justice
Cambridge, Ma.—Researchers at Harvard University found high levels of frustration among Boomer and Gen X men dealing with their screen obsessed, self-absorbed, unmotivated children. Study participants expressed a desire for …
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