Erie County, NY—On November 23, 2022 Erie County Executive Mark Poloncarz tweeted out a picture of the environmental impact statement (New York State Environmental Quality Act) regarding the Buffalo Bills new stadium. As is often the case with the county executive’s tweets, a flurry of derogatory comments referring to him as a “tool” and “stupid,” along with other personal attacks followed.
But it was Twitter member Liz Smith who had the most memorable tweet. She instructed Poloncarz to take the two-thousand page impact statement and: “Shove it up your ass.” That tweet was remarkable in that it marked the billionth time someone on Twitter urged him to implant something in his ass during his three terms as the Erie County Executive. Notably, in addition to Poloncarz only national figures such as former president Trump, entrepreneur Elon Musk, and of course, actor Richard Gere have reached the billion threshold.
Ms. Smith is an infrequent tweeter and doesn’t really follow politics. She said her disdain for the County Executive came about during the pandemic when Poloncarz would post videos of himself singing and playing guitar. “I’m mostly a stalker on Twitter. I like watching the car crash rather than being part of it,” she said. “But when Polonpuke started posting those videoss it drove me crazy. He can’t sing, he’s a shitty guitar player and he ruined one of my all time favorites: “Take Me On.” Now, when I load it into the jukebox at the bowling alley on Saturday night after I’ve had a gummy and a couple of Fireballs all I can see and hear is that fucking douchenozzle. Damn, straight I told him to shove his impact statement up his ass and I’m going to keep doing it. One billion down, ten billion to go.”
Among the most popular Twitter suggestions for insertion in the County Executive’s backside include: his acoustic guitar, Dr. Gale Bernstein’s overtime pay and his own head.
Asked for comment regarding the milestone, Poloncarz’s office issued the following statement: “The County Executive remains committed to providing the people of Erie County with excellent on time services while holding the line on taxes. And despite popular calls via Twitter for Mr. Poloncarz to stick, shove or wedge: impact statements, reviews and initiatives in his Lackawanna funk trunk, the County Executive remains equally committed to keeping that portion of his body obstruction free and pristine . . . or as pristine as possible.
County Executive Poloncarz is up for re-election in 2023.
