Buffalo, New York—For local author P.A.Kane (Leaving Jackson Wolf; Written In The Stars:The Book Of Molly) and his wife Donna, this past Valentine’s Day was just another random Thursday. Unlike the masses who literally—buy—into this manufactured holiday and don’t nurture their relationships throughout the year the Kanes spent the night in their usual manner—her in the front room with the PBS Newshour and a little Agatha Christie and him in the back room/office working and listening to the recently rediscovered suicide songs of Paul Westerberg. Safe in their long standing wedded bliss, it was a lovely evening where they occasionally yelled things to each other, which neither really heard, from their respective rooms.
At one point they came together in their kitchen, gazed into each other’s eyes as she poured herself some red wine and he fixed himself another Jim Beam and ginger. Just as they were about to part again Donna paused and said: “You should’ve seen the girls at work who got flowers—they were so excited.”
“Sad,” he said.
“It’s not their fault. They’ve been socialized to think love is a material object like flowers or jewelry. They don’t realize love grows inch by inch and is preserved day by day with commitment and dedication.”
“Like I said, sad—sad, loveless losers.”
“Hey,” she said a light going off in her head. “Let’s do them a solid and put up the Seriously Get Laid Playlist.”
“Not the Seriously Get Laid Playlist. These people listen to Bruno Mars and Taylor Swift. Some might even listen to Phil Collins. They can’t handle the Seriously Get Laid Playlist.”
“Pshaw—not only will they get it, they’ll love it.”
“Yeah, probably not,” he said skeptically. “But for love and those sad loveless bastards, let’s do it.”
Kane cautioned before you load these songs into Spotify, Pandora or some other music delivery system that this is a lethal mix of music and should be treated with great care. Not too much wine or ambiance and for god’s sake—this should be dispensed only with someone for whom you’re trying to make a strong, lasting connection. This is not a playlist for a one night stand. And, for those of you who say, “Miles Davis, what’s that?” or “Who’s Chet Baker?” Please go look at your dying flowers and wait for a goddamn clue.
The Seriously Get Laid Playlist . . .Solitude- Duke Ellington; Our Love is Here to Stay- Ella Fitzgerald; It Never Entered My Mind- Miles Davis; Maria- Ellis & Branford Marsalis; I Loves You Porgy- Nina Simone; I Fall In Love Too Fast- Chet Baker; Everyday- Buddy Holly; Belle- Jack Johnson; The Moon Is Made Of Gold- Rickie Lee Jones; I Wonder- Louis Armstrong; Too Young to Go Steady- John Coltrane; How High The Moon-Dianne Reeves; Surfer Girl- Dave Alvin; Reflection- Prince; Self Portrait In Three Colors- Charles Mingus; Blue, Red and Grey- The Who; Blue Motel Room- Joni Mitchell