SiriusXM DJ Loses It On Air, Exhaustion Cited


Los Angeles Ca.—After 71 continuous days and 237 on-air shifts SiriusXM DJ Chris Muckley, suffering from exhaustion, lost it during his two for Tuesday shift on the Spectrum. The versatile DJ who works shows on Hits 1, XMU, The Loft, Real Jazz, and The Spectrum could not keep straight which platform he was hosting on.

The Spectrum caters to middle-management, Range Rover types still trying to retain some semblance of cool and features a blend of high end, non-threatening artists like Sting and The Dave Matthews Band. Today, however, as Muckley devolved into a messy jumble of incoherence, occasionally breaking into spot on impersonations of Spider Harrison and Mike Marrone, they heard songs by Lady GaGa, Waxhatchee, Lydia Loveless and Charles Mingus.

Listeners responded to Muckley’s confusion this way:

Tim Robbins of  Cleveland Oh. donning a snappy Night Ranger t-shirt said, “Lady GaGa, gimme a break.”

Tom Marshall of Omaha, Ne. asked, “When did Lydia Loveless leave The Runaways?”

And, Mary O’Leary serving twenty to life in the Federal Correctional Facility in Beaumont, Tx. reacted by saying, “So, that’s where that word comes from, Charles Mingus. My ex was really great at cuntamingus, just ask my sister… He’s in hell now.”

Reciting along with the epic Charles Mingus spoken word masterpiece The Chill of Death resulted in SiriusXM officials finally pulling Muckley from the air.

As EMT’s walked Muckley out of SiriusXM California studios, amidst a sea of Red Bull cans and empty Twizzler wrappers, he was muttering to no one in particular that he just wanted go home and “binge some Better Call Saul and “sit in the yard and throw a ball to my good boy Bruno.” Unfortunately, mentioning his dog’s name triggered the exhausted DJ to break into a silly little dance while singing Comin Right Up from the ill fated 1987 album by Bruce Willis, The Return of Bruno.

It was really embarrassing for all involved.

Muckley is resting quietly at his California home. No date has been given for his return.

About P.A. Kane

Writer and payer of tuition.

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