Snyder Man Stuggling To Hide His Red Neck Past
Snyder, NY—Billy Bob Buttonbottom, or as he refers to himself these days, William Robert Buttonbottom of Snyder is trying to hide his redneck past. Despite an advanced degree in chemical …
Read MoreAuthor: P.A. Kane
Local Bartender Bracing For Weekend Of Lame Irish Revelers Hitting On Her
Buffalo, NY—Charlie Coogan, a fortyish part-time bartender at Costello’s Pub in the Valley, is bracing for a weekend of lame Irish revelers endlessly hitting on her. Coogan already gets a …
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Buffalo Ex-Patriot Prepping For Grind Of Floating Season
Charlotte, NC—Ex-patriot and Buffalo bartending legend, Kevin McNamara—Mulligan’s Brick Bar, Pink Flamingo, Third Room—is in serious preparation for the upcoming floating season at his home in Charlotte, North Carolina. Though …
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Study Finds Western New Yorkers Think About Josh Allen Two Hundred Seventy-One Minutes Per Day
A new double-blind study conducted by The Lancet found that Western New Yorkers, on average, think about Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen two hundred seventy-one minutes or 4.51 hours per day. The number varies depending on the time of year, rising at the start of the football season in September and falling at the end of season. The numbers rise and fall incrementally with various offseason events like free agency, the draft and mandatory mini-camp in June.
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Local Author Electrifies All Four People At Last Event Of The Year
West Seneca, NY—In support of his latest novel, Larry Plumb Is Still Here, local author P.A. Kane has been doing book talks and signings at various venues and libraries throughout …
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Local Author To Pursue Work Of Devastating Power And Beauty
West Seneca, NY—Growing frustrated at having his eye almost poked out week after week while cutting the grass around the overgrown Rose of Sharon bush in his yard, a voice …
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Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
Manchester, England—The closest Oasis will get to Buffalo on their massive world tour is a couple of dates at Rogers Stadium in Toronto at the end of August. On the …
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Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit
Buffalo, NY—Marcus Aurelius was the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 during the Nerva-Antonine dynasty, a period of relative peace and stability across the vast Roman Empire. He was also …
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Bezos Sanchez Wedding Definitive Proof There Is No God
Venice, Italy—This past weekend, Amazon dork and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew look-alike, Jeff Bezos, married giant silicon-breasted lizard woman, Lauren Sanchez, in a lavish fifty-million-dollar ceremony in Venice, Italy. Since the …
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Old Man With Device That Shoots Oranges Terrorizing Teens At Park
Buffalo, NY—An old man with a device that shoots oranges has been terrorizing teens at Delaware Park. Images of the old man and his orange propulsion device have surfaced, but …
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