Western New York—The electric rollout of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz’s presidential campaign on Tuesday night left some Western New Yorkers a little confused. Despite a host of speakers that included Philadelphia mayor, Cherelle Parker, Pennsylvania governor, Josh Shapiro and the newly minted democratic presidential candidates there was a glaring lack weird and incoherent references to sharks, cancerous windmills, Hannibal Lecter, American carnage and other oddities that have marked this year’s election discourse from Donald Trump and republicans. In fact, the event at Vanderbilt University before a packed house seemed to evoke a sense of joy and future prosperity which totally flummoxed area viewers.
Here are some reactions from across Western New York:
Larry Latoris of Lakeview was perplexed at the lack of name calling. “I mean it was pretty funny when vice-presidential candidate Walz said, “I can’t wait to debate J.D. Vance…that’s if he’s willing to get off the couch,” but where was the name calling and put downs? None of these communists in the democrat party called anybody stupid or a disaster and none of them came up with any good lines or names for Trump? I mean, how about a little nod to “Animal House“: Fat, dumb and orange is no way to go through life, son. Maybe some: Donny Bone-Spur or the Mar-A-Loco Meathead. I feel so cheated.”
Cherry Chuggler of Cheektowaga was taken aback by the bright, joyful faces of both Harris and Walz which she found uncharastically uplifting and made her want to be a better person. “All of the sudden I have these feelings of generosity and goodwill. So much so, I got in my car today and when some fuckhead in a Prius changed lanes without signaling I just let it go. And my neighbor Gayle, from down the street— the one with the solar panels and the vegetable garden—she waved and I waved back and smiled. What’s happening to me? This sucks.”
Lonnie Logger of Lancaster was confused at the lack of darkness and hatred. “I was expecting to hear the plans for how these democrats were going to end Christianity and about their undying love for Hamas. But instead of a: From the river to the sea recitation, these left wing lunatics led by Harris and Walz chanted USA, USA, USA and We’re not going back, We’re not going back. And rather than that Walz guy telling you to get off his lawn he told people to: Mind your own damn business. Didn’t it used to be the republicans who advocated for freedom from the government? But now, they don’t want you to have freedom over your body, who you love or even what you read. They’re up in your grill about everything. I’m so damn confused.”
Sylvia Slossen of Sloan was surprised she didn’t hear more about plans for installing critical race theory or how they’re going to further open the border to illegals. “Instead, all I saw was love and excitement. And I heard pledges to help the middle class, to increase healthcare, to invest in schools. What I didn’t hear was anything about miserable cat ladies, sharks, Hannibal Lecter or coconuts. I was told I was going to hear about coconuts. There was nothing in these speeches that was weird or made me feel afraid. What the hell is wrong with these democrats?
There are eighty-seven days left until November 5th, when the United States will elect its forty-seventh president.
