United States, America—With the retirement of Supreme Court Justice, Anthony Kennedy and in light of some recent heavy-handed decisions by the court, which include: limiting women’s reproductive rights, the ability of unions to collect dues and permitting Trump’s Muslim ban to go forward, the ghost of Obama’s disposed Supreme Court nominee and Radar O’Rielly look alike, Merrick Garland has started making the rounds.
The first stop for the less than spooky apparition of Garland has been to supporters of Bernie Sanders. Purist, Bernie Bros whined like spoiled ninnies through the 2016 election about the corrupt DNC, superdelegates and Hillary Clinton taking exorbitant speaking fees from Goldman Sachs. Faced with nightmarish Brett Kavanaugh as the replacement for swing voter Kennedy, which stands to set the Bernie movement back fifty years, Garland has been visiting the Bros, as their dreams about Medicare for all, tax payer funded college and reducing the wealth gap fade into the mist of never had a fucking chance in 2016.
With hot ghost breath, Garland politely scorns the thick-headed Bros who let the perfect be the enemy of the good. “Now,” Garland sulks in their little pinheaded ears, “Obama Care is being hollowed out instead of expanded, Education Secretary, Betsy guns help schools prevent grizzly bear attacks Devos is attempting to fund religious schools and the Republican Congress along with Trump provided business and the rich a huge tax cut which will add $1.5 trillion to the debt… DUMBASSES.”
Next, floating through the ever-increasing carbon plagued air Garland visits Green Party supporters of Jill Stein and whispers into their principled little ears these hellish words: Scott Pruitt…incentives for coal…tariffs on solar panels. They wake screaming…the Iraq war vote… Wall Street support…her emails…her emails…her emails. Shaking his phantom head, he would like give them all, a well-placed boot in the ass, that is, if he wasn’t a ghost or such an accommodating man.
Gathering all his ghostly strength Garland then moves on to forty-six percent too self-involved to cast a vote. Coming up a little short of ominous the mild mannered specter intones: Silence Is Consent…The Standard You Walk Past, Is The Standard You Accept, while showing them ghastly visions of the coming environmental disasters, women receiving back alley abortions, more children gunned down in schools, journalists and writers imprisoned, people’s rights trampled, trade wars, bread lines, economic despair. This occurs while a self-aggrandizing overstuffed orange authoritarian monster sits on a gold plated throne in Washington delighting in crushing anyone who would cross him and time honored institutions with a feckless Congress standing idly by, watching.
Even for a ghost, reaching this forty-six percent, that’s 110 million people, yes 110 million, is a lot of work. So, before the ghost of Merrick Garland can move on and lightly terrorizes the fifty-two percent of white women who voted for President Grab’em By The Pussy, he’s going to take a little time off to relax and to work on his memoir What Could Have Been, The Merrick Garland Tragedy (The Story Of Healthcare For All, Expanded Reproductive Rights, Economic Equity, Common Sense Gun and Environmental Regulation, That Never Happened).
