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Local Author Thinking Outside The Box Just Like President Trump

April 24, 2020April 25, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, N.Y.—On Thursday medical officials and Reckitt Benckiser, the United Kingdom-based owner of Lysol rebuffed President Trump for suggesting that household disinfectant products could be used to clean the lungs …

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National

ShamWow Guy To Make Appearance At Trump Press Briefing

April 2, 2020April 2, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Washington D.C.— Inside sources say later this week President Trump will have the ShamWow pitchman, Vince Shlomi make an appearance at his daily press briefing to demonstrate how to effectively …

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National

Holy Fuck, Someone Married Stephen Miller

February 18, 2020February 18, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

Washington, D.C.—Monday morning the world was stunned to learn Trump Senior Advisor and White Supremacist, Stephen Miller found an actual woman to marry him. Prior to the marriage, Miller’s new …

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National

The Price Of War

December 20, 2019December 20, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

United States, America— The price of war is something most people will never comprehend. The human toll cannot truly be conveyed by fleeting images on the six o’clock news. Sure, …

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National

Bulletproof Apparel: It’s Sensible And It Looks Good Too…

August 29, 2019September 7, 2024 - by P.A. Kane

United States, America—With the new school year (aka the shooting season) ramping up parents are not only buying pencils and rulers, but the latest bulletproof apparel. As mass shootings continue …

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National

Study Finds AR15 Owners Have Highest Prevalence Of Micro-Penises

August 23, 2019March 27, 2021 - by P.A. Kane

Wheeling, WV—A wide-ranging study conducted by Schlong University found that military style, AR15 gun owners have the highest prevalence of micro-penises in the country. Lead researcher Dr. Christopher Hoggsealt said …

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National

The Real Places Where Trump Was A First Responder

August 2, 2019August 3, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

Washington D.C.—This past week President Trump signed a bill permanently reauthorizing the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund, which provides health care funding for surviving first responders of the nine-eleven terror …

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National

Tony Robbins’ Neck Is Missing And He Is The Asshole We Always Knew He Was

July 9, 2019July 11, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

Palm Beach, Fl—Judging from recent images, where his collar butts up to his granite chin and jaw, it appears that motivational speaker and New York Times best-selling author Tony Robbins …

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National

Buffalo Mud Endorses Candidate Of Love For President: Marianne Williamson

July 2, 2019July 23, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

Buffalo, NY—In the no brainerest of all no brainer decision, the editorial staff at Buffalo Mud fully and unequivocally endorses Marianne Williamson as the next President of these United States. …

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National

Middle Scool Teacher Disturbed By Endless Fucking Emails From Joe Biden

May 20, 2019May 20, 2019 - by P.A. Kane

West Seneca, NY—Larry Puddlenut, an Algebra teacher at West Middle School is disturbed by the abundance of emails he is receiving from Joe Biden. A lifelong Democrat and contributor to …

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  • Music Snob Pisses Off Bar Playing “Gary’s Got A Boner” By The Replacements Thirty-Seven Times In A Row
  • On Fortieth Birthday Father Informs Son He Must Either Get Serious About World War II History Or Smoking Meats
  • Mailroom Guy Annoys The Shit Out Of Coworkers With His Mock Drafts
  • Trump Declares Victory In Coloring Contest, Egg Roll—Calls Kids ‘Major Losers’
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