Pardoned Turkeys Lack Of Gratitude Angers Trump
Washington, D.C.— Ahead of flying off to his resort at Mar-a-Largo, for the eighth time this year, President Trump took some time to pardon two prospective Thanksgiving turkeys aptly named, …
Read MoreAuthor: P.A. Kane
HHS Nominee Alex Azar Confused With Fantasy Sports Host Adam Aizer
Washington D.C.—It started on their Twitter feeds, Health and Human Services nominee Alex Azar was peppered with questions about fair trade value for suspended Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott and …
Read MoreTrillionth Play Of Hotel California Drains Man’s Will To Live
West Seneca, NY—Fifty-Five year old freelance Efficiency Expert, Frank Deely, has spent a lifetime observing workplace operations all over the country. While his job lands him in many diverse places …
Read MoreHapless Bills Affirm Order Of Universe Safe
Buffalo, New York—After two successive losses by the Buffalo Bills, including a 47-10 home ass whooping by the New Orleans Saints the sometimes questionable order of the universe remains stable. …
Read MoreNRA Staffers Annoyed At Being Called Into Work After Massacre
Fairfax, Va.—In the wake of the mass shooting at a Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas that left twenty-six dead and thirty injured, NRA communication staffers Whitaker Thompson and Niles …
Read MoreHillary Clinton Turns Herself In At Brooklyn Jail
Brooklyn, NY—With a yoga mat, some scented candles, the complete works of Joan Didion and an iPod loaded with Nino Rota soundtracks, former First Lady and Secretary of State, Hillary …
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Scholars Raise Questions About Formation of Leviticus
Hebron, Israel—A recent cache of of rabbinical letters found in the west bank city of Hebron has raised questions among scholars about the book of Leviticus. Addressed to all Israelites, …
Read MoreOffensive Cake Spurs Civil Lawsuit
Senior Mud Contributor—David P. Zach Buffalo, NY—A civil lawsuit has been filed in Buffalo City Court against the owners of Calvin’s Bakery in North Park, by Mikey O’Connell of University …
Read MorePromising Inter-Denominational Relationship Ends
Buffalo, NY—The promising relationship between lapsed Catholic, Brandon McDermott and Lutheran, Katie Robinson abruptly came to an end due to inter-denominational differences. Before meeting Robinson, McDermott, a thirty year old …
Read MorePalo Alto Man Realizes He’s A Total Asshole
Palo Alto, Ca.—First, Cosby, then Weiner and Trump and now allegations of abhorrent sexual misconduct by Hollywood power broker and movie mogul, Harvey Weinstein has made maintence engineer Jim Dunphy …
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