Cheektowaga NY—This past weekend the air at Prior Aviation was ripe with the scent of Hai Karate and the parking lot jammed with a vast array of Camaros, F150s and Monte Carlos awaiting the arrival of Dee Dee Bonner, the mom of recently signed Bills quarterback, AJ McCarron.
A survey of the assembled crowd revealed an excessive amount of tattoos, pinky rings and backwards turned Bills caps, along with an appalling lack of teeth and any social redeeming qualities.
Standing next to his ‘78 Monte Carlo, Niagara Falls native Kevin Sheehey said he had been a Bills fan all his life and was here not only to welcome Ms.Bonner to Western New York, but to offer her his assistance in getting to know the area. “I’m in the Local up in the Falls,” Sheehey said with a wink. “It would be a honor and a pleasure to show Ms. Bonner around the town, maybe do an after hours tour of the wax museum and then get a bite to eat. I have a standing reservation at the Olive Garden on the Blvd.”
Wanting to let Ms. Bonner know what she could expect from a Bills tailgate, members of the Bills Mafia were out in full force drinking Bud Lights, doing Fireball shots and of course, breaking tables. Using a ladder, South Buffalo native Callahan O’Malley skillfully climbed atop a 40ft. Box Truck and swan dived into a burning table littered with broken glass and gravel. Though breaking several bones and probably suffering a concussion, O’Malley, nevertheless, got to his feet, did a Fireball and with his remaining strength yelled, “LET’S GO BUFFALO, LET’S GO BUFFALO to the delight of his fellow Mafia colleagues and then collapsed and had to be carted away by Rural Metro Ambulance.
Former Bills Hall of Fame coach Marv Levy made a brief appearance and led the crowd in the fight song he penned in 1994:
Go Bills, for we are here to cheer you
Go Bills, we are your fans so true
With victory in sight
We’ll yell with all our might
So, go Bills, fight Bills, go….
Ms. Bonner was quite overwhelmed with the welcome and in a shaky, scared voice said she had never seen such an outpouring, even at Alabama where her son led the Crimson Tide to two National Championships. She thanked the assembled crowd and said she was anticipating a great year for the Bills. Waving goodbye, as she quickly made it to a waiting car, she added it was going to be good to get some rest at her hotel… in a locked closet… with a gun.
AJ McCarron is expected to be the Bills starting quarterback for the 2018-19 NFL season.