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August 29, 2025
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Author: P.A. Kane

Local

Music Snob Pisses Off Bar Playing “Gary’s Got A Boner” By The Replacements Thirty-Seven Times In A Row

May 8, 2025May 9, 2025

South Buffalo, NY—Before attending a show at The Caz this past Saturday night, Norbert Garfunkel, his wife, and their friends the Nolandorfs stopped at the Dog & Pony Saloon for …

Music Snob Pisses Off Bar Playing “Gary’s Got A Boner” By The Replacements Thirty-Seven Times In A Row Read More
Local

On Fortieth Birthday Father Informs Son He Must Either Get Serious About World War II History Or Smoking Meats

May 1, 2025May 1, 2025

Buffalo, NY—Larry Lighthouse Sr. congratulated his son Larry Jr. on reaching the milestone of his fortieth birthday. He told his son that he had become a fine man and was …

On Fortieth Birthday Father Informs Son He Must Either Get Serious About World War II History Or Smoking Meats Read More
Local / Sports

Mailroom Guy Annoys The Shit Out Of Coworkers With His Mock Drafts

April 23, 2025May 11, 2025

Buffalo, NY—The internet and high-speed computing have become a pervasive part of life across the globe. Right now, sitting in the pockets of billions of people is a handheld computer …

Mailroom Guy Annoys The Shit Out Of Coworkers With His Mock Drafts Read More
National

Trump Declares Victory In Coloring Contest, Egg Roll—Calls Kids ‘Major Losers’

April 22, 2025May 3, 2025

Washington, D.C.—While markets tumbled precipitously Monday, President Donald Trump participated in the White House’s traditional Easter Egg Roll and Coloring Contest. Like at his Doral Golf Club, where he recently …

Trump Declares Victory In Coloring Contest, Egg Roll—Calls Kids ‘Major Losers’ Read More
Local / Sports

Masters Officials Block Lockport Man With “Practice Round” Pass From Teeing Off

April 17, 2025April 19, 2025

Augusta, Ga.—In June 2024, Bucky Bergen, an underwriter at Basil Toyota in Lockport, purchased a “Practice Round” pass for last week’s Masters Tournament at the famed Augusta National Golf Club. …

Masters Officials Block Lockport Man With “Practice Round” Pass From Teeing Off Read More
National

Voters Want Trump To Focus On Pain and Misery Rather Than Economy

April 13, 2025April 16, 2025

Buffalo, NY—On April 2nd, voters from various right-wing groups across Western New York were upset with President Trump’s wide-ranging tariffs, which tanked markets and impacted their savings and retirement accounts. …

Voters Want Trump To Focus On Pain and Misery Rather Than Economy Read More
Arts/Living / Local

Plot To Bills Hallmark Holiday Movie Leaked To Buffalo Mud

March 31, 2025April 14, 2025

Buffalo, NY—The plotline to Holiday Touchdown: A Bills Love Story, a Hallmark channel Christmas movie set in Buffalo, was leaked to the popular satire website Buffalo Mud. The made-for TV movie …

Plot To Bills Hallmark Holiday Movie Leaked To Buffalo Mud Read More
National

Aaron Rodgers Faces Contempt Charges; Big Bird Grilled At GOP PBS, NPR Hearings

March 27, 2025May 4, 2025

Washington D.C.—This week, Republican House member Marjorie Taylor Green organized a congressional DOGE hearing concerning funding for the Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) and National Public Radio (NPR). The Georgia representative …

Aaron Rodgers Faces Contempt Charges; Big Bird Grilled At GOP PBS, NPR Hearings Read More
Uncategorized

Everybody Hates Manbun Mark

March 22, 2025April 14, 2025

Buffalo, NY—A west-side dispensary with expansion plans is facing controversy and a possible revolt from its forty employees. The loud, obnoxious, over-the-top behavior of a cannabis barista known as Manbun …

Everybody Hates Manbun Mark Read More
Arts/Living

Friendship Strengthened As A Result Of A Number Two

March 13, 2025March 13, 2025

Niagara Falls, N.Y.—Driving down Military Road toward their house on 77th Street, Fiona Friesendorf turned to her husband, Finn, who was at the wheel of their Toyota, Tacoma, and informed …

Friendship Strengthened As A Result Of A Number Two Read More

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July 12, 2025July 12, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • Local Author To Pursue Work Of Devastating Power And Beauty
  • Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
  • Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit
  • Bezos Sanchez Wedding Definitive Proof There Is No God
  • Old Man With Device That Shoots Oranges Terrorizing Teens At Park

Recent Posts

  • Local Author To Pursue Work Of Devastating Power And Beauty
  • Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
  • Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit
  • Bezos Sanchez Wedding Definitive Proof There Is No God
  • Old Man With Device That Shoots Oranges Terrorizing Teens At Park
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