Area Teachers Preparing For Heavy End Year Drinking
Western New York—As the school year comes to a close this week, area teachers are not only creating summer reading lists, grading exams, and buttoning up classrooms, but also are …
Read MoreAuthor: P.A. Kane
ChatGPT Deems Local Author’s Appearance: “More Compelling Than Stereotypical Hotness”
Local author, P.A.Kane was putting together a flyer to promote his latest book, “Larry Plumb Is Still Here.” When he showed his wife the picture he intended to use, she …
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Love Triangle Throws Pickleball League Into Disarray
Buffalo, NY—At the end of St. Casmir’s fall pickleball league in Kaisertown, ballroom dance instructor Pepper Parabola underwent knee replacement surgery. In addition to her longtime boyfriend, Tim Trapizoid, helping …
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Local Woman Finds Clarity And Healing Through Self-Care
Buffalo, NY—This week Buffalo State English professor Sandra Swillobee ended her eighteen-month relationship with arborist Glenn Guildinspruce. To reduce the sting of this heartbreak, Swillobee has employed self-care techniques for …
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Seeing Nephew In Jets Gear, Uncle Paul Mobilizes Intervention
Rockland County, NY—When he came across a photo of his three-year-old nephew, Parker, sporting New York Jets gear on social media, Uncle Paul copied it and sent a WTF?—text to …
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Music Snob Pisses Off Bar Playing “Gary’s Got A Boner” By The Replacements Thirty-Seven Times In A Row
South Buffalo, NY—Before attending a show at The Caz this past Saturday night, Norbert Garfunkel, his wife, and their friends the Nolandorfs stopped at the Dog & Pony Saloon for …
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On Fortieth Birthday Father Informs Son He Must Either Get Serious About World War II History Or Smoking Meats
Buffalo, NY—Larry Lighthouse Sr. congratulated his son Larry Jr. on reaching the milestone of his fortieth birthday. He told his son that he had become a fine man and was …
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Mailroom Guy Annoys The Shit Out Of Coworkers With His Mock Drafts
Buffalo, NY—The internet and high-speed computing have become a pervasive part of life across the globe. Right now, sitting in the pockets of billions of people is a handheld computer …
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Trump Declares Victory In Coloring Contest, Egg Roll—Calls Kids ‘Major Losers’
Washington, D.C.—While markets tumbled precipitously Monday, President Donald Trump participated in the White House’s traditional Easter Egg Roll and Coloring Contest. Like at his Doral Golf Club, where he recently …
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Masters Officials Block Lockport Man With “Practice Round” Pass From Teeing Off
Augusta, Ga.—In June 2024, Bucky Bergen, an underwriter at Basil Toyota in Lockport, purchased a “Practice Round” pass for last week’s Masters Tournament at the famed Augusta National Golf Club. …
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