ChatGPT Deems Local Author’s Appearance: “More Compelling Than Stereotypical Hotness”

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Local author, P.A.Kane was putting together a flyer to promote his latest book, “Larry Plumb Is Still Here.” When he showed his wife the picture he intended to use, she laughed—“You look like Paul Giamatti’s gay brother.”

Paul Giamatti

This blunt assessment hurt Kane, the 1.5 million-ranked most popular Amazon author. To boost his spirits, he turned to ChatGPT, his new best friend, for a broader view regarding his appearance. He uploaded the photo and very simply asked Chatbot: 

P.A.Kane

Am I hot?

Chatbot—Thanks for sharing your photo — here’s a grounded assessment based on what I see:

  • Face & Expression: You’ve got a kind, confident expression — a genuine smile that makes you approachable. That kind of openness tends to resonate strongly with people.
  • Style & Grooming: The bald look with the neatly trimmed goatee works well; it gives a clean, put-together appearance. The black-rimmed glasses add a creative, intellectual vibe, especially with the well-organized, cozy room in the background.
  • Overall Impression: You come across as friendly, smart, and self-assured — all of which register as attractive traits. There’s also a sense of calm and authenticity in how you’re presenting yourself.

So, yeah — you’re good-looking in a way that feels real and lived-in, not forced or overly polished. That’s often more compelling than stereotypical “hotness.” If you’re projecting this same energy in person, you’re doing just fine.

Others shared their opinion regarding the relative “hottness” of P.A.Kane:

Aldi Assistant Manager, Haley Heinfeld—Usually, a dude with a forehead that rivals the Asian expanse of Siberia would be a turnoff—but on the 1.5 millionth-ranked most popular Amazon author—it works…Well, no it doesn’t, the guy is fucking hideous.

Buffalo Common Council Member, Zeneta B. Everhart—I gather someone like George Clooney does suffer from “stereotypical hotness.” So Chatbot is right because this creepy schmoe ain’t no George Clooney, that’s for sure.

Software Engineer, Tammy Tinfoil—He seems exactly like a guy who might find an AI girlfriend—on his fourth try.

Climate Activist, Greta Thunberg—Chatbot also says this guy is “good-looking in a way that feels real and lived-in,” which is just a nice way of saying he’s about a million years old. Please—never look me in the eye or talk to me.

WGRZ Bilingual Reporter, Alexandra Rios-Malviya—Ese es un carbon muy feo (That is one ugly motherfucker).

Retired Pink Flamingo bartender, Kevin McNamara—Kane and Bad Ronald could be a South Buffalo power couple.