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Month: August 2019

National

Bulletproof Apparel: It’s Sensible And It Looks Good Too…

August 29, 2019September 7, 2024

United States, America—With the new school year (aka the shooting season) ramping up parents are not only buying pencils and rulers, but the latest bulletproof apparel. As mass shootings continue …

Bulletproof Apparel: It’s Sensible And It Looks Good Too… Read More
National

Study Finds AR15 Owners Have Highest Prevalence Of Micro-Penises

August 23, 2019March 27, 2021

Wheeling, WV—A wide-ranging study conducted by Schlong University found that military style, AR15 gun owners have the highest prevalence of micro-penises in the country. Lead researcher Dr. Christopher Hoggsealt said …

Study Finds AR15 Owners Have Highest Prevalence Of Micro-Penises Read More
Local

Movement To Demote Local Drummer “Bad Ronald” To “Just Ronald” Growing

August 19, 2019July 9, 2023

Buffalo NY—Through luck, happenstance and grace, local drummer Ron Leisten was bestowed with the moniker “Bad Ronald,” by legendary Western New York artist, Greg Sterlace. But as a result of …

Movement To Demote Local Drummer “Bad Ronald” To “Just Ronald” Growing Read More
Arts/Living

Music Snob Says Yacht Rock Produces Extreme Feelings Of Indifference

August 14, 2019August 14, 2019

West Seneca, NY—Music snob, and local author P.A.Kane (Leaving Jackson Wolf; Written In The Stars: The Book Of Molly) says that Yacht Rock radio— smooth, soulless niche music—produces feelings of …

Music Snob Says Yacht Rock Produces Extreme Feelings Of Indifference Read More
Local

Extreme Sex Leads To Kaisertown Woman’s Death, Husband Faces Possible Charges

August 9, 2019August 10, 2019

Buffalo NY—A 911 call was placed by Kaisertown resident Stan Dombrowski when his wife, Marion became unresponsive during an extended session of coitus. The couple had recently resumed their long …

Extreme Sex Leads To Kaisertown Woman’s Death, Husband Faces Possible Charges Read More
National

The Real Places Where Trump Was A First Responder

August 2, 2019August 3, 2019

Washington D.C.—This past week President Trump signed a bill permanently reauthorizing the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund, which provides health care funding for surviving first responders of the nine-eleven terror …

The Real Places Where Trump Was A First Responder Read More

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Recent Posts

  • Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
  • Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit
  • Bezos Sanchez Wedding Definitive Proof There Is No God
  • Old Man With Device That Shoots Oranges Terrorizing Teens At Park
  • Area Teachers Preparing For Heavy End Year Drinking

Recent Posts

  • Oasis Promises Continued Bickering, Melees And Possibly A Death During Massive World Tour
  • Local Woman Adjusts Practice Of Stoicism To Meet World’s Bullshit
  • Bezos Sanchez Wedding Definitive Proof There Is No God
  • Old Man With Device That Shoots Oranges Terrorizing Teens At Park
  • Area Teachers Preparing For Heavy End Year Drinking
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