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Month: February 2018

Arts/Living

Shocking Amount of Chevy Monte Carlos In Alden Trailer Park

February 26, 2018May 13, 2020 - by P.A. Kane

Alden, N.Y.—Despite ceasing production in 2007, a shocking amount of Chevy Monte Carlos have been spotted in the Seabrook trailer park in Alden, New York. More vexing than the existence …

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Local

Buffalo City Hall Named Phallic Structure Of The Year Again

February 18, 2018February 19, 2018 - by P.A. Kane

  Buffalo, NY—For the tenth consecutive Buffalo City Hall was named Phallic Structure of the Year by Architectural Digest. The 1931, thirty-two story Art Deco building was designed by architects …

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National

NRA Staffers Annoyed At Being Called Into Work After Massacre

February 15, 2018 - by P.A. Kane

Fairfax, Va.—In the wake of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida that left seventeen dead and five injured, NRA communication staffers Whitaker Thompson and …

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Arts/Living

Ten-Year Old’s Illusions Shattered By Embarrassing Father

February 12, 2018 - by P.A. Kane

Charlotte, NC—Maeve McNamara, a fifth grader at Landsowne Elementary School had her illusions shattered this past weekend when her father Kevin, dressed in blue suede shoes and a flower infected, …

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National

Researchers Find Boomer And Gen X Men Desire Old School Discipline And Justice

February 1, 2018February 1, 2018 - by P.A. Kane

Cambridge, Ma.—Researchers at Harvard University found high levels of frustration among Boomer and Gen X men dealing with their screen obsessed, self-absorbed, unmotivated children. Study participants expressed a desire for …

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Seeing Nephew In Jets Gear, Uncle Paul Mobilizes Intervention

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On Fortieth Birthday Father Informs Son He Must Either Get Serious About World War II History Or Smoking Meats

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Recent Posts

  • Seeing Nephew In Jets Gear, Uncle Paul Mobilizes Intervention
  • Music Snob Pisses Off Bar Playing “Gary’s Got A Boner” By The Replacements Thirty-Seven Times In A Row
  • On Fortieth Birthday Father Informs Son He Must Either Get Serious About World War II History Or Smoking Meats
  • Mailroom Guy Annoys The Shit Out Of Coworkers With His Mock Drafts
  • Trump Declares Victory In Coloring Contest, Egg Roll—Calls Kids ‘Major Losers’
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