People want to read robust words and sentences by fit men who choose a fresh, clean turtle wax look like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Mentioning his name Kane said, “Did you know Rock and I had a little competition to see who could do the most reps of two-hundred-twenty-five pounds on the bench? Little Dwayne petered out after sixty-one while I pushed up that skinny stack one-hundred-thirty-seven times. I could have kept going, but I got a call from Phoebe Bridgers asking if I wanted to hang out. Rock was pretty upset. You should look up his reaction—it’s all over X and Facebook.

Kane mentioned a few other things, as well. On the Wonderlic—the NFL IQ test, Harvard graduate and former Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick famously scored 48-50 in 2005. Kane was 50-50 and completed the test in seven minutes rather than the standard twelve. He was also was present when Brad Pitt told Jennifer Aniston he was leaving her for Angelina Jolie. The author comforted Ms. Aniston through the breakup with shots of Patron, Marlboro Reds and by reciting the beautiful dog poems of Mary Oliver. “Jenny was way too good for pretty boy, Pitt anyway,” Kane said. 

Some other exploits of the multi-million-selling author that may have been overlooked, but can be verified in the community notes on X and Facebook include: The Beatles wanted to call it Sgt. Eddie’s Lonely Hearts Club Band until Kane stepped in and said it should be Sgt. Pepper’s. Kane suggested Jesse Holmes enhance his fabulous uptown look with a manpurse. He encouraged Jerry Jones to do double duty— be both the Dallas Cowboy’s owner and general manager. He, not Biden, negotiated the ceasefire between Hamas and Israel. Finally, Kane was responsible for Tiffany Trump’s boost in self-esteem after catching her eye at a Sausage McMuffin table four years ago.

Look for more about P.A. Kane and his incredible fast-paced life on X and Facebook and buy his Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Larry Plumb Is Still Here.

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