Prior to his disappearance Luft was indicted for trying to broker a deal to sell arms to Iran and for acting as an unregistered Chinese agent. Nevertheless, committee members and MAGA Republicans wanted to hear from Luft. Also, without a shred of evidence and crying “no fair” like a group of ten-year old boys who just lost a street hockey game, Comer and MAGA Republicans have accused the Department of Justice and the FBI of disappearing Luft on orders from Biden.

In 2017 Crackhead Joey had a chance encounter with Hunter Biden where he both agreed to orally gratify and pay the future President’s son one billion dollars for a much needed hits on his crack pipe. “I was with this chick, I think her name was Debbie. She stole a big bag of rock and a Subaru from her old man and we had a plan to go to Florida to get clean and start over. Well, things got all screwed up and we somehow ended up in Delaware. I lost track of Debbie, but found this party—I’m pretty good at finding parties. I was in rough shape and this guy named Hunter was there and he seemed to have an endless supply of shit which he was willing to share as long as you signed an IOU,” Joey said, clutching two crumpled pieces of paper.  

Those two crumpled pieces of paper were among Joey’s possessions when he was arrested two days later trying to fence several stolen bikes. After doing a bit of time Joey is back in Western New York trying to walk the straight and narrow. He said he kept the IOUs because deep down he’s a stand up guy. “Though I’m just a lowly crackhead, I’m also a patriot and I thought it was only right to come forward to expose elites like Hunter Biden who prey on guys like me. I’ve been in these predicaments before and I know someday he’s going to try and collect and I ain’t ever going to blow a guy again—not that there’s anything wrong with blowing a guy. It just ain’t for me”

With these notes Comer and his committee now have a paper trail and plan to hold hearings in the near future and to expose the depravity and corruption of Hunter Biden in their pursuit to make America great again.       

The post Joey From Ladner Street Seen As Potential Witness Against Bidens appeared first on buffalomud.com.

World Wide Web—MAGAMingle.US is a dating platform designed for like-minded people on the right side of the political spectrum. MAGAMingle.US, is where Trump/MAGA supporters, conservatives, republicans, Tea Party members, populists, classical liberals, libertarians and freedom loving Americans can chat up others who also believe Democratic pedophile rings operate in the basements of pizza shops, that numbers, facts and peer reviewed science is just a bunch of liberal bullshit and where grabbing a woman by the pussy isn’t assault, but rather a loving kind of foreplay that ends with the meatloaf special at the Cracker Barrel. 

Both men and women agree MAGAMingle fills a real need. While patrons of the right-wing platform typically don’t have as many teeth or high school diplomas as potential partners at other dating sites there are a lot less awkward situations and the getting to know you period is much smoother. Users complained that when you dated people from other sites you had to be very careful bringing up topics like: stop the steal, the uselessness of vaccines and the immigrant problem. But when you’re out with a MAGAMingle person it’s a given that Joe Biden is a senile old fuck who really isn’t the President, Fauci is a senile old fuck and a quack and we need to build the wall like—fuckin’ yesterday.

Calvin Finklefan, a building inspector in St. Louis is a huge fan of the platform. “I was having a beautiful dinner at Denny’s with a woman named Urlene—she raises chickens and bakes pies—when this black guy comes into the restaurant. Of course he ordered the “Plate Lickin’ Chicken Fried Chicken,” and though he ate his meal quietly, I knew he was up to no good and Urlene knew it too. We followed him to make sure he made it back to his side of the Delmar Divide. When he went into a house not far from the restaurant we pulled over and watched that house all night. After Urlene dozed off with her head on my shoulder smelling like a tuna melt I thought to myself—a woman cozying up to me after a night at Denny’s and racial profiling a black guy—god bless MAGAMingle.”

Personal Care Aide, Jenny Bumplefine has been very pleased with the type of men she’s been meeting at MAGAMingle. “Guys from other sites are always trying to show me they’re respectable and good earners. The MAGAMingle guys just kind of instinctively know the way to get my yoga pants off and remove my glass eye—which drives them sooooo crazy—is a twelve pack of Busch Lite and a day out in the country blowing up squirrels and rabbits with a twelve gauge shotgun. It’s just so nice to not deal with bullshit and be in tune with a man. Last night this dope MAGA guy took me a highway overpass where we waved a Trump flag, did shots of Fireball and shouted at liberals who flipped us off that they can go fuck themselves. H-E-A-V-E-N.”       

The cost of MAGAMingle is approximately forty dollars per month. A portion of that fee is donated to the Trump Legal Defense Fund—in other words Donald Trump’s bank account.

The post MAGAMingle.US . . . A Dating Site Where Grabbing Pussy Is Celebrated appeared first on buffalomud.com.

 Buffalo, NY—Now that the Sleepy Joe and the woke liberal mob in Washington  have stomped on our freedom and have total control of our lives, (i.e.—like when Obama took all the guns away) we here at Buffalo Mud wanted to help our massive local audience stay on the right side of the law by providing an ever evolving list of  drop-off locations for now-banned items:

RED MEAT – you can bring your ground beef, rump roasts, filets, and other assorted bovine by-products to the YMCA on Cayuga near the airport. You can also bring PRIME RIB ONLY to the Reinstein Memorial Library. If it’s closed use the after-hours book drop.

MENTHOL CIGARETTES – Big Jimmy’s Chew & Spit Wholesale outlet in Larkinville will provide cash refunds of $200 on FULL CARTONS of Newports, Kools and Salems. Don’t be coming up on Big Jim with loose packs or singles— Big Jim WILL knock your Alive with pleasure! ass into next week.

BOOKS – As per the President’s speech this week, all books authored by any heirs to the Swanson Frozen Dinners fortune are to be destroyed by the end of May. There will be continually burning bonfires on the corners of  and  for your convenience. (Side note – don’t come with Fahrenheit 451 and think you’re being ironic. Dumbass)

GUNS – please leave your guns out at the end of your driveway on your normal trash day. NOTE!!! THIS IS FOR GUNS ONLY. We understand this might not have any practical value since Obama already confiscated all the guns, but Sleepy Joe wants the firearms that may have slipped through the cracks. We also understand that many of you have cases upon cases of ammunition, and you’re all terribly disappointed that a civil war has not broken out. Again—thanks Obama. Please be patient—Rome wasn’t built or destroyed in a day.

BOOZE – While alcohol has not been banned YET, if you want to get a headstart you can take any and all bottled spirits to the Body Shop Gentleman’s Club. (All black label bourbon can be sent to P.A.Kane, c/o Buffalo Mud, 2112 Limelight Blvd. Mudville, NY). 

VOLUNTARY – We know many of you are feeling anxious about the wrath of Sleepy Joe’s vaccines, science and renewable energy — you know, the socialist takeover. To alleviate your fears of being accosted by the liberal mob that wants to give you health care and 21st century infrastructure we will be setting up drop-off points where you can stash your MAGA hats and underwear, Toby Keith CDs, and MyPillows on the down low for use at a later date. Check the thread on Parler titled: Sleepy Joe’s Super Secret MAGA Closet for more information. 

Thank you for your cooperation as we all do our part to help Buffalo step proudly into Sleepy Joe’s 21^st century!!

By Senior Mud Contributor: David P. Zach

The post Drop Off Locations Pop Up For Items Banned By Sleepy Joe And His Liberal Mob appeared first on buffalomud.com.

Washington, D.C.—As Joe Biden ushers in a more traditional presidency progressive supporters are breathing a sigh of relief. These same progressive supporters however, also find themselves wondering which Applebee’s location Kayleigh McEnany is bartending at and where Stephen Miller is holding his KKK meetings. And, some have even come forward and admitted they’re kind of missing Trump and his bullshit.

As horrible, corrupt and incompetent as Trump was as president there was never a dull moment. From the Mexicans are rapist comment to saying he won the popular vote in 2016 to pushing Clorox and Ultraviolet light as Covid therapies to being a very stable genius, it was a shit show of epic proportions that kept friend and foe alike waiting for the next crazy tweet or incoherent statement.

Lanie Barklvr, an environmental activist from Riverside said, “I’ve disliked Trump from the moment I heard him speak back in the 80’s and I’ve deplored every moment of his presidency, but now that I don’t have his tweets to piss me off every day I kind of miss it. I mean, here’s a guy who out of nowhere proposes things like buying Greenland. Who brings the crazy like Trump? I miss that bullshit—sorry.”

Shaking his head Larry Fortuna, a family law attorney from Clarence still can’t fathom the composition of an ego like Trump’s. “This guy is like: “Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest – and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.” And after making such a claim he’ll pop off about windmills causing cancer or he’ll call Apple CEO Tim Cook, Tim Apple and then deny he ever said it. I swear, Trump is like an evil Homer Simpson with $70K a year on hair and makeup habit. I hate say it, but without all the dumb Trump shit the winter and this never ending pandemic somehow seem even longer. God help me, I can’t believe I just said that. I need a bourbon.”

“Okay, okay—I miss the chaos,” said Phoebe Nostrums, a social worker from University Heights. “I deal with some really troubled people in really troubled situations. Mental illness, drug addiction, sexual abuse, you name it. Sometimes it can really wear you down. One of my coping mechanisms was to read Trump’s twitter feed every morning to make sense of the world. I mean, if the President of the United States can say climate change is a Chinese hoax or back that Q’Annon supporter Marjorie Taylor Green, then the craziness of my world doesn’t seem so crazy and I can get through another day of helping clients. With Trump’s twitter feed gone I’ve had to settle for Ted Cruz’s or that asshole Rand Paul’s. It’s just not the same. So yeah, I’m missing Trump.” 

This week progressives missing Trump got a little of the magic back when the former president went off on Mitch McConnell after he recently excoriated him for his role in the Capitol uprising on January 6th. Said Trump:
“In ‘Mitch’s Senate,’ over the last two election cycles, I single-handedly saved at least 12 Senate seats, more than eight in the 2020 cycle alone—and then came the Georgia disaster, where we should have won both U.S. Senate seats, but McConnell matched the Democrat offer of $2,000 stimulus checks with $600...

Barklvr, Fortuna and Nostrums said they had tingles reading this craziness from Trump.      

By P.A. Kane

The post Progressives Admit They’re Kind Of Missing Trump’s Bullshit appeared first on buffalomud.com.