The movie’s narrative will follow traditional Hallmark plot lines of love, conflict, and mystical intervention with a dash of rock-n-roll flavoring. Getting the film made may prove to be a bit tricky, however. Producers are reporting that during initial logistical planning and test shots, Bad Ronald has been a Susan Boyle like diva. He often rages about Owen Power, Hillary Clinton, and the Bills third-down defense. And, of course, the fucking green m&m’s mixed in with the brown ones. What usually calms him down is a discussion of the female leads who potentially will play opposite him. Top names up for consideration include: Lori Loughlin, Fiona Gubelmann, Brook Burns and his favorite, Lacey Chabert.

The actress who lands the role will depict an overworked, underappreciated New York marketing executive named Wanda Wadswallow. Wanda returns to her roots in Western New York to open a little gift shop called—Irv Weinstein and Friends Collectibles. Initially she is happy and prosperous in her new life. Soon though, the former marketing executive falls back into old, take no prisoners habits. When a friend witnesses her blow up a supplier who can’t deliver on Clip Smith bobbleheads, she suggests they go for a drink. The end up at Molly Maguire’s, where Bad Ronald’s band, Punk716 happens to be gigging.

She catches Bad Ronald’s eye during a banging version of the Ramones, “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight).” and the connection is instant and hot.

Over coffee Bad Ronald and Wadswallow find common ground—not in things they like, but rather, in things they dislike: pugs, Mighty Taco meat paste, navel lint (both are outties), blue ink and the novels of Philip Roth. They quickly become close and spend quiet evenings trolling Tragically Hip fans on social media and creating artwork for Carol Jason T-shirts—they are so happy.

But Bad Ronald’s bad-boy punk attitude starts to crop up in a negative ways, while Wadswallow’s obsessive work habits also start to surface. A divide in the relationship becomes evident. It all comes to a head during a gig when Wadswallow requests the band play a Depeche Mode song. With unmistakable frostiness, Bad Ronald rebukes her form the stage, “We don’t play that ‘80s electronica bullshit,” putting a final nail in the unlikely romance.

But then, a few days before Christmas, deceased New York Dolls guitarist Johnny Thunders comes to Bad Ronald in his sleep, slaps him upside the head, and says something like, “That girl’s ass—play the fucking Depeche Mode song, you twat.”

On Christmas Eve, Bad Ronald and his band set up on the sidewalk outside Wadswallow’s shop and play “Everything Counts,” thus enshrining another magical Hallmark holiday moment. 

In addition to this film, Kane, the 1.5 millionth most popular Amazon author, is developing a franchise around Bad Ronald due to his recent transformation from scrawny drummer to edgy punk frontman. Kane believes Bad Ronald has mass appeal among the house coat-wearing, afghan-covered grandmas binge-watching the Hallmark channel. Currently, the author is in Hollywood pitching other Bad Ronald related projects—Bad Ronald Mattlock and Bad Ronald Murder He Wrote. 

Personality Crisis at Christmas Time is scheduled for a 2025 holiday release. 

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Punk716 is a cover band playing old-school punk standards by the Sex Pistols and The Clash, newer punk by Green Day and Social Distortion, and punked-up versions of Elvis and Little Richard songs. While the band is still finding itself, they are admirably filling a vacant space in the pub music scene dominated by bands that endlessly vomit up “Don’t Stop Believing” and “Sweet Caroline” ad-nauseam. UNCLE, all-fucking-ready with those tunes. This fresh idea has led to support for the possible reinstatement of the “Bad Ronald” moniker. 

Particular high notes in the Punk716 set were covers of Elvis,’ “Burning Love” and Little Richard’s “The Girl Can’t Help It.” The version of the Little Richard tune is a cover of a cover done by the Trenton, NJ, garage rock band The Swingin’ Neckbreakers. Punk716 didn’t quite hit the ferocity button like the Neckbreakers, but it’s cerainly not out of reach for this upstart band. 

The Rock-n-Roll Board of Governors will convene this weekend at the Chelsea Hotel, 223 West 23rd Street, New York City, to discuss the matter over vodka martinis and numerous eight-balls at the very table where David Bowie and Lou Reed made out in 1973. Word on the street is split over reinstating the “Bad Ronald” name. Those in favor do so with the caveat—play deeper cuts by bands like the Buzzcocks and Oingo Boingo—the latter being the Uriah Heep of the early 80s. Others who are still opposed say we’re getting ahead of ourselves, pointing out the diminutive, and possibly hairless front man needs to create a more punk persona before he can be bestowed with the “Bad Ronald” handle again.

Here are some other perspecives on the Just Ronald/Bad Ronald debate:

Tom McDonnell (Dog Ears Bookstore)—How about we step back from this Just Ronald/Bad Ronald thing and find a middle ground? While we untangle this let’s call him—“Slightly Intimidating Ronald.”  

Iggy Pop (legendary punk front man)—Dude needs to lose the shirt and eat some broken glass.  

Maria Genero (former TV weather anchor)—You can’t front a punk band without getting spit on. I’d like to spit on that kid. I don’t care what his name is. I just want to spit on him. 

Aunt Edna (Ronald’s aunt)—Oh Ronald, you were such a nice boy with so much potential. Now you’re mixed up in this punk rock suff. Why couldn’t you stick to playing nice music like Bob Seger and Frank Zappa?  

Tim Watts (long-time friend)—Ron, I don’t care about your stupid name, When. Are. You. Going. To. Pay. That. Fifty. Back. To. Me. Motherfucker? 

Movement To Demote Local Drummer “Bad Ronald” To “Just Ronald” Growing

Lack Of Response Further Proof “Just Ronald” Demotion Warranted

Woman Narrowly Escapes Night Out With Local Drummer “Bad Ronald”

The post “Just Ronald” Making Strong Bid to Reclaim “Bad Ronald” Moniker appeared first on buffalomud.com.