United States, America—Purist fans of the legendary rock band The Replacements were universal in their condemnation of old school poster “Feelin-Like-A-Hundred-Bucks” for his positive Facebook response to a Beach Slang video. The video was a cover of the band’s 1985 tune “Bastards of Young.” Hundred-Bucks forgot that he was supposed to hate Beach Slang and innocently responded “Awesome,” to the song shot at Mohawk Place in his hometown of Buffalo, New York. 

“I fucked up,” Hundred-Bucks said. “My friend Daryl posted it and I was like yeah, not a bad version of the tune and ya know just gave it a quick “Awesome,” response. After everybody started coming down on me I did remember seeing a post in a secret Replacements group where people were ragging on Beach Slang frontman James Alex as nothing more than a saccharine rip off of the Mats. It’s so hard to keep track of all the things I’m supposed to hate.”

Hundred-Bucks went onto explain the purist bristle that Beach Slang took the nervy step to not only cover Bob Mould’s “I Hate Alternative Music,” but also to mine both The Replacements and front man Paul Westerberg’s catalogue, recording fan favorites such as “Androgynous,” “Skyway” and “AAA.” Additionally, the subject matter of Beach Slang originals “Spin The Dial,” and “Tommy in The 80’s” seemed to be culled directly from Replacements lore. 

Rock Fan (ARegular) Looking For Summer Return

Senior purist, “ARegular,” as in “Here Comes A Regular” said, “John Alex is nothing but a little fanboy trying to make a living trading on the legacy of “ The Mats” (Replacements nickname among the purists). It’s an abomination and Hundred-Bucks should be ashamed of himself.”

Other fans were quick to bury “Feelin-Like-A-Hundred-Bucks” too:

Elizabeth (Boston, Ma.): “Hundred-Bucks was the most forgettable poster ever. He’s the kind of guy you don’t even have to see to know you would totally ignore him if you ever met him in person. And, now we know, he’s a shitty Mats fan too.” 

Nudge (Elk Horn, Iowa): “I sent that prick two of my self-made cd’s and told him not to worry about sending any cash and you know what—he didn’t. Here I am, an Aussie, in the middle of bum fuck Iowa with seven kids and a barn full of soy products I can’t bring to market and that asshole didn’t know I didn’t really mean it when I told him not to send any cash? Screw him, he deserves this.”

El Goodo (Memphis, Tn.): “When we were getting to know each other and I told him I was from Alabama, he asked me, how many pies and chickens it costs to get a Mats album in Mobile. This coming from a guy in Buffalo, no less. Fuck him.”

ILuvBobStinson (Minneapolis, Mn.): “Hundred-Bucks was just another Paul Westerberg loving robot who would never accept that the true greatness of the band came from Bob Stinson (lead guitarist, first four records) and it was just a shell of its former self once Bob was fired. He can rot in fucking hell with all of the other Westerberg loving robots as far as I’m concerned.”

Hundred-Bucks plans to lay low for awhile and then slowly reintegrate back into purist population by latching onto the next big thing the purists’ hate.  

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Cincinnati, Oh—A.Reg Tedgro was there in ‘69 when The Who vomited in the bar; he was pushing up against stage in ‘74 at Iggy Pop’s, Murder of a Virgin show in L.A.; in ‘84 he was at the Bowery in Oklahoma City, for the recording of the Replacements’ fabulous mess, When The Shit Hits The Fan and for the last ten years he’s relentlessly followed alt/country badass, Lydia Loveless from the California Cascades to the Florida Everglades. But at a recent Drive By Truckers show the legendary rock fan, injured his shoulder after some aggressive fist pumping during a rousing version of The Perilous Night. The injury required emergency surgery for a torn rotator cuff which may jeopardize the rocker’s summer concert season.

Known for his ability to follow an eclectic mix of artists, the roots of the injury can be traced to a fall at a Boz Scaggs show. As the band kicked into It’s Over, A.Reg engaged his female companion in a dance, but while pirouetting tripped and landed on his face and shoulder. After the paramedics cleaned up his face the determined rock fan returned to his seat and weeped vociferous tears during a moving rendition of We’re All Alone.

He didn’t really recognize the shoulder pain until he engaged in some vigorous clapping at a Neko Case show. “Neko is a tremendous talent,” A.Reg said, “ but can be a bit idiosyncratic. I wanted to make sure the fans got the full Neko experience so I really sold out, with what was perhaps, my greatest clapping ever at the end of her set. I’d like to think, that clapping, is what brought her back to do that heartbreaking Harry Nilsson classic, Don’t Forget Me.”

He was really sore after the show, but rather than see a doctor the tenacious rock fan chose to soldier on attending a series of concerts by Bon Iver, Sleater-Kinny and Courtney Barnett aided only by shots of Tequila, Advil gel packs and his astonishing rock-n-roll will.

Post surgery, he received well wishes from a litany of artists including Paul Westerberg and Liz Phir. Westerberg scrawled a couple of cryptic lines: “Serves you right. Did a lot for you. Send more cash.” A little more direct and generous Ms.Phir dispatched some fishnet stockings that A.Reg  has coveted since the 90’s.

A.Reg is slated to return on a trail bases later this month in Cincinnati at The National’s, Homecoming Festival, which features Father John Misty, Feist, Alvvays and other indie bands. He is hoping this will be a good warm up to very full summer schedule.  He also wants to introduce himself to the new Millennials and iGen kids attending the shows and make sure they know he is not just some random, lost grandpa, but one of rock’s preeminent fans who can teach them shit.           

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