Bergen stepped through the North Gate at the course with his clubs, cart, and his spiffy new Aussie hat. As he joked with Freddie Couples while completing his warmup routine near the first hole, the starter asked who he was and what he was doing there. Bergen showed him his “practice pass,” smiled, and said he had been striking the ball really well all winter, and was looking forward to playing his first round at Augusta, and giving Freddie a run for his money. 

The starter quietly contacted security before informing Bergen that the “practice round” pass entitled him to view the practice round of those participating in the tournament, not play a practice round. 

Bergen instantly became indignant, saying the pass said nothing about viewing, and demanded he be allowed to play his round. Not only that, he wanted to be in a group with Scottie Schlffler, but it wouldn’t be a deal-breaker if that weren’t possible. He said he would play with Freddie Couples, who was still close by, or anyone else—even one of those shitty LIV players, like Sergio Garcia or Bubba Watson.

Augusta Security took a measured approach with Bergen, telling him that he seemed like a nice fellow who just made a little mistake, and it would be bad for everyone if they had to cuff him and take him to jail. Bergen slumped his shoulders and said, “But I drove all night and practiced all winter. I bought two dozen Top-Flites and this cool hat.” Security then offered to buy him a hot-chocolate and a donut at concessions, which Bergen gloomily accepted.

He then walked back to the parking lot, removed his glove and shoes, deposited his clubs in the trunk of his 2012 Camry, and reentered Augusta National as a spectator. Several times throughout the day, in the distance he saw Freddie Couples pointing and laughing at him as he obviously recounted Bergen’s mistake to the other golfers. which they found quite hilarious. 

The only thing overshadowing Bergen’s misadventures was Rory Mcllroy winning the tournament in a playoff, thus completing golf’s grand slam.

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