West Seneca, NY— Donna Issatwink was surprised and quite frankly a little hurt at the reaction her short innocuous letter-to-the-editor in Buffalo News received this past week from internet commenters. Issatwink, a Bingo Manager at Christ Life Church in West Seneca and an avid gardener commented in the News how the Tim Russert “Children’s Garden,” at the corner of South Park and Choate Avenue in South Buffalo was looking so beautifully peaceful this spring and how urban neighborhoods would benefit from more of these green sanctuaries. 

Issatwink began her little epistle by stating how the “Children’s Garden” caught her eye driving home from a walk at the Outer Harbor. Someone going by the handle: GoFukYrself49, instructed her to mind her own business, worry about what happens in her own dumb suburban neighborhood and maybe think about killing herself.

When Issatwink mentioned the many vacant lots throughout the city and how all of us could benefit from the healing effects of blossoming flowers, a commenter named Meatslop23 said that city people didn’t have the luxury of gardening because they had to work multiple jobs just to stay alive in the gentrifying squalor that is Buffalo and she should stick her lettuce where the sun rearly shines. Meatslop also suggested that if she likes playing in the dirt so much maybe her hay-seed ass could dig a hole about six-feet deep and then have someone—maybe a grateful husband—bury her and her big-mouth in it.

And finally, when Issatwink cited a research article which highlighted the positive outcomes on crime, violence and fear from rehabbing vacant city lots, Mozillacreamcheese accused her of perpetrating “fake news” and said she was a naïve suburban bitch who had zero idea what city life entailed. Mozilla challenged her to sell her little white picket delusion and the house that went with it and move into the city and start rehabbing these shithole lots instead of writing cutesy little useless letters to the Buffalo News.

Issatwink, who doesn’t have a social media presence on any of the various platforms was surprised by the vitriol she received and said, “I was also a little hurt.” In response to these bullying comments she asked for guidance from the Lord while sipping a glass of wine. When the Lord didn’t provide any answers into her third glass of wine, Issatwink took matters into her own hands and told GoFukYrself49 to: “. . . kiss my big white ass.” She then admonished Meatslop23 for needing multiple jobs, stating: “You should have paid attention in school rather than sniffing glue in your mom’s basement.” And finally she asked Mozillacreamcheese to: “. . . meet my naïve suburban bitch ass and let me show you what I can do with my white picket delusion.”

Issatwink later said she was not proud of how she responded to the comments about her letter, but indicated she now felt oddly compelled to share other opinions. She plans to write them down while sipping a glass of wine after Bingo this coming Saturday. 

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