Buffalo, NY—P.A. Kane, author and publisher of the satire website Buffalo Mud has confirmed that he recently met and interviewed, Prince Harry- the former Henry Charles Albert David- Duke of Sussex or as he refers to himself now, Harry Windsor.
Kane thought someone was just trying to be funny when Prince Harry’s resume showed up in his inbox just after Christmas. But soon after the announcement was made that he and wife Meghan Markle would to step back from their royal responsibilities Kane received a follow up call from Windsor inquiring about a position. Still thinking this was a joke, Kane made the appointment, but told Winsor, or the person claiming to be Windsor, not to show up without a double-double from Timmy Ho’s. And, on the appointed time and day Windsor showed up at Buffalo Mud headquarters with the double-double.
After settling in the first question Kane asked was the most obvious—”Why Buffalo Mud?”
Windsor: “Well, since we’ve decided to step back, we’ve decided to step way back and you can’t much further back than Buffalo Mud, can you?
While Kane was not thrilled with the answer, he did grudgingly have to acknowledge that it was a fair point. He continued—”So you see growth opportunities with Buffalo Mud?”
Windsor: “No, not really. I always imagined myself as the funny brother, you know. I thought I could come to this little outpost and work on my skills and if I poo the bed, no one would know.”
“It’s shit,” Kane said. “It’s shit the bed, not poo the bed. This is America—we shit the bed- not poo the bed. Not exactly John Cleese are you?”
“John Cleese . . . Eric Idle . . . Terry Jones— Monty Python. You know, Life of Brian . . . The Holy Grail. The British comedy troupe,” Kane explained with a certain amount of exasperation.
“Oh right,” Winsor replied. “The old stuff. I like Russell Brand.”
“Russell Brand?” Kane asked incredulously
Kane looked up Windor’s Wikipedia page and instantly saw nobody ever accused him of being smart, which would explain the Russell Brand thing. He also saw that he was involved in a cheating scandal at Eton College to which Windsor responded, “That was never proven.”
When asked if he had any writing samples he produced a notebook of dreams which contained dozens of scenarios where his wife, Meghan Markle and his sister-in-law, Kate Middleton are on the verge of intimacy. Stuff at fox hunts, stuff in tiaras, stuff where Windsor was the possible facilitator between the two women. None of it was funny or even sexy, but Kane hired him anyway.
The position he signed him up for was Senior Mud Contributor, the same position occupied by David P. Zach. This only seemed fair since Zach wasn’t really funny either, but was convicted of a cheating scandal in college and also loved Russell Brand.
Windsor’s first piece: Reagan & Zatie: The Fox Hunt, will debut on Valentine’s Day.