Replacement Purists Condemn Response To Beach Slang Video


United States, America—Purist fans of the legendary rock band The Replacements were universal in their condemnation of old school poster “Feelin-Like-A-Hundred-Bucks” for his positive Facebook response to a Beach Slang video. The video was a cover of the band’s 1985 tune “Bastards of Young.” Hundred-Bucks forgot that he was supposed to hate Beach Slang and innocently responded “Awesome,” to the song shot at Mohawk Place in his hometown of Buffalo, New York. 

“I fucked up,” Hundred-Bucks said. “My friend Daryl posted it and I was like yeah, not a bad version of the tune and ya know just gave it a quick “Awesome,” response. After everybody started coming down on me I did remember seeing a post in a secret Replacements group where people were ragging on Beach Slang frontman James Alex as nothing more than a saccharine rip off of the Mats. It’s so hard to keep track of all the things I’m supposed to hate.”

Hundred-Bucks went onto explain the purist bristle that Beach Slang took the nervy step to not only cover Bob Mould’s “I Hate Alternative Music,” but also to mine both The Replacements and front man Paul Westerberg’s catalogue, recording fan favorites such as “Androgynous,” “Skyway” and “AAA.” Additionally, the subject matter of Beach Slang originals “Spin The Dial,” and “Tommy in The 80’s” seemed to be culled directly from Replacements lore. 

Rock Fan (ARegular) Looking For Summer Return

Senior purist, “ARegular,” as in “Here Comes A Regular” said, “John Alex is nothing but a little fanboy trying to make a living trading on the legacy of “ The Mats” (Replacements nickname among the purists). It’s an abomination and Hundred-Bucks should be ashamed of himself.”

Other fans were quick to bury “Feelin-Like-A-Hundred-Bucks” too:

Elizabeth (Boston, Ma.): “Hundred-Bucks was the most forgettable poster ever. He’s the kind of guy you don’t even have to see to know you would totally ignore him if you ever met him in person. And, now we know, he’s a shitty Mats fan too.” 

Nudge (Elk Horn, Iowa): “I sent that prick two of my self-made cd’s and told him not to worry about sending any cash and you know what—he didn’t. Here I am, an Aussie, in the middle of bum fuck Iowa with seven kids and a barn full of soy products I can’t bring to market and that asshole didn’t know I didn’t really mean it when I told him not to send any cash? Screw him, he deserves this.”

El Goodo (Memphis, Tn.): “When we were getting to know each other and I told him I was from Alabama, he asked me, how many pies and chickens it costs to get a Mats album in Mobile. This coming from a guy in Buffalo, no less. Fuck him.”

ILuvBobStinson (Minneapolis, Mn.): “Hundred-Bucks was just another Paul Westerberg loving robot who would never accept that the true greatness of the band came from Bob Stinson (lead guitarist, first four records) and it was just a shell of its former self once Bob was fired. He can rot in fucking hell with all of the other Westerberg loving robots as far as I’m concerned.”

Hundred-Bucks plans to lay low for awhile and then slowly reintegrate back into purist population by latching onto the next big thing the purists’ hate.  

About P.A. Kane

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