Movement To Demote Local Drummer “Bad Ronald” To “Just Ronald” Growing

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Buffalo NY—Through luck, happenstance and grace, local drummer Ron Leistien was bestowed with the moniker “Bad Ronald,” by legendary Western New York artist, Greg Sterlace. But as a result of a series of ridiculous statements dating back years, there is a growing movement to demote “Bad Ronald,” to “Just Ronald.” The latest was a Facebook response to a Buffalo Mud article where the unoriginal drummer, who looks like a small, hairless middle school boy, attacked the British post-punk goth band, The Cure. “Just Ronald” said:

Great read with only one typo. God awful Cure song from an almost god awful Cure record…just saying. Lol   

“Just Ronald” is referring to the Cure song, “Untitled,” from the epically sad album Disintegration. Contrary to “Just Ronald,”  feelings about the record, Nitsuh Abebe, writing for Pitchfork in 2010 upon the reissue of Disintegration said:

“It’s muscular (like on the title track), wistful (“Pictures of You”), ghostly (“Closedown”), seething (“Fascination Street”), and yeah, morose, but what’s striking is how each of those qualities can reach really, really far into your gut. It’s not a record for the dead-inside: Get far enough into this album, and I will almost guarantee you will feel some shit. “

Unlike the biting criticism of a well heeled gadfly, “Just Ronald,” comes off as the overlooked kid in the last row of your seventh grade class, who lacks the ability to feel some shit. Instead, from his perch as a perpetual adolescent he is more likely to get attention by hurling spitballs or by pulling the hair of a girl for whom he has amorous feelings. 

One need look no further than “Just Ronald’s” numerous just saying statements: America was better without all these child labor laws… just saying;  Puppies suck when they become dogs… just saying; Music died with Andy Gibb… just saying. He struck a nationalist note with this put down of the Tragically Hip: Sorry kids, R.E.M. Is way better than the Hip, and they’re from the U.S., just saying.

People asked about the possible demotion had this to say:

Dr. Dirty- John Valby: “Ai Yi Yi Yi “Bad Ronald” or “Just Ronald,” he has an ass built for love…” 

Mayor Byron Brown: “He’s always been weak on the high hat. “Just Ronald,” seems right.”

Moe Tucker (Velvet Underground drummer): “Whatever, fuck him.”

Tim Watts (lifelong friend): “Hey “Just Ronald,” ya ever going to pay me that fifty you owe me?”

“As this movement gains steam, “Just Ronald” is finishing up drumming on the summer lawn fete circuit throughout Western New York. Look for more of his ridiculous posts and maybe some hair growing under his bony arms as he powers through the last stages of puberty.  

About P.A. Kane

Writer and payer of tution.

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