Local Author Faces Shakedown Over Baywatch Reel

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Buffalo, NY—Local author P.A.Kane (Leaving Jackson Wolf; Written In The Stars:The Book Of Molly) is the subject of a shakedown by an unknown entity threatening to release his Baywatch reel and other images in lieu of a cash payments. Kane was briefly hired in 1989 to play the role of Mitch Buchannon, on the action drama series about lifeguards who patrol the beaches in Los Angeles County. He stepped away from the project in pre-production and was replaced by David Hasselhoff. Since then Kane has become the 1.5 millionth ranked author on Amazon and believes the release of these materials will hurt his brand.

Kane was in Southern California in the late 80’s trying to track down his literary hero Charles Bukowski when he was plucked from obscurity for the Baywatch role. While the show was in pre-production the author developed a treatment of T.S. Eliot’s, The Waste Land for the fledgling series. Also, after finally meeting Bukowski, he sought to incorporate the plight of the homeless drifters living on the beach into the action drama, but was rebuffed by producers. Because of these artistic differences Kane stepped away from the project. Looking back he said, “Instead of trying to make any kind of real impact, the producers wanted the show to be about Pam Anderson running around half-naked on the beach. Why that’s so entertaining I’m not sure. But, rather than compromise my vision I chose to move on.”

Kane fears that releasing his reel and other images will cause people to not take him seriously and will ruin his credibility. “I mean, c’mon- a bandana headband? What am I, a fucking Deadhead? And, the photoshop of me holding a goddamn, fascist Coors Light. I’ve taken extreme care to avoid the the products of that right wing asshole Adolph Coors. Now, because of this doctored image the women at the Resistance Marches are going to think I’m a fraud. This is total bullshit. I look like such an asshole.”

When Kane contacted police to figure out his options, they just laughed at him and said: “Nice bandana, ballbag.”

This year Kane moved up 300K slots- going from the 1.8 to 1.5 millionth ranked author on Amazon. Presently, he has no plans to give in to blackmail demands, but will be watching the rankings and may reassess his position at a later time.

About P.A. Kane

Writer and payer of tution.

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