Diocese Creates “Fun Task Force” To Improve Its Sagging Image


Buffalo, NY—In light of recent criticism of the Diocese of Buffalo and Bishop Malone for creating, yet another, pointless, ineffectual and opaque task force to address crimes of sexual abuse committed by parish priests, the church has announced a new “Fun Task Force” to improve its sagging image.

The “Fun Task Force,” will look at the disappearance of D.B. Cooper, it will ask Where Did Our Love Go and  then delve into the riddle of Who Let The Dogs Out.   

D.B. Cooper, you’ll recall was an unidentified man who hijacked a Boeing 727 in 1971. He  extorted $200K in ransom money and then parachuted into the mist, never to be heard from again. The incident continues to inspire modern culture and a bunch of dumb TV shows on the USA Network. And, whether you’re a fan of Diana Ross and the Supremes or The J. Geils Band most everyone at some point or another has been a loser at love and asks: Where Did Our Love Go? These days the Diocese might be asking a parallel question—where did all our damn parishioners go? The “Fun Task Force, will also try and come up with an answer posed by the funk group The Baha Men in their 2000 hit, Who Let The Dogs Out.  Fun . . . WOW!


It is no secret “The Fun Task Force” is intended to be a distraction from the latest task force created by Bishop Malone and the Diocese that supposedly will look at procedures regarding allegations of clerical misconduct involving adults, which even the dullest knife in the drawer  knows is just another ruse—more lipstick on a pig. In the end, despite including members of the laity and perhaps an elected official or two (maybe NYS Senate Majority Leader John Flanagan is available) nothing will change. Yes, there will be a call for prayers and some minor operational changes made, but once again, the church will skip away from its responsibility like a kid skips home on the first day of summer vacation—la-ti-da . . . la-ti-da—without doing anything.

Western New York Catholics, amidst a growing number of calls for Bishop Malone to step down, should therefore expect this latest investigation to be slow walked and to eventually fade away like all the others, while the church clings to its wealth and standing. However, for victims, there will be no closure, compensation or explanation. Nor will issues of trust, inadequacy and loss of opportunity be addressed.  For victims, there will just be a continuation of pain and injustice. 

As for the “Fun Task Force,” which is supposed to help the Diocese with its sagging  image—The Baha Men . . . really? That’s the best you could do?   


About P.A. Kane

Writer and payer of tuition.

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