United States of America—In a recent spot on the Daily Show, comedian Lewis Black noted the end of another shooting season as schools across the nation shut down for summer recess. Freed from the threat of being gunned down at school students across the nation are taking a deep breath and withdrawing into relaxing summer activities. Some are going on family vacations, some are enjoying their first brush with minimum wage employment and others are pursuing romantic relationships.
Tomason Rinaldi of Baltimore, Md. is entering 11th grade at Cal Ripkin High and is enjoying his most restful sleep since last summer. “I still wake up screaming a couple times a night and am haunted by a recurring dream where my whole math class is gunned down by some twenty year old kid just as our teacher hands back midterms. There’s lots of crying and blood. It’s totally gross,” Rinaldi said of the dream. He is hopeful, that like last summer, the recurring dream will subside by mid-July and he’ll be able to get six-weeks of real sleep before shooting season resumes.
Haley Palmeri, of San Diego, Ca. just graduated middle school and will entering Michael Franks High. Haley is spending time with friends at the beach this summer—starving themselves. “All of us are just eating a few beans a day, trying to slim down, so we’ll be less of a target. That makes sense, right?” the spunky 9th grader asked. “Not eating sucks, but it’s better than eating a face full bullets for lunch. Oh, and the beach is nice.” 
Still, there are some who find it hard to decompress, even with the end of shooting season. Talty McDonough of Worcester, Ma. spent most of ninth grade at North High School being invisible to teachers and classmates. This summer he is experimenting with new cloaking technologies such as non-linear optics and adaptive camouflage to make himself literally invisible. “Yeah,” McDonough said. I’m working on ways to become a literal shadow. I always had this dream of going out in a haze of cheeto dust and orange sodas after binging Skyrim for three weeks. And, to go out in a school shooting . . . that would be so cliche.”
Kayleigh Thomas of Tulsa, Ok. is entering middle school this year and in addition to doing a six-week summer bible study at Old Hope Church she is spending part of every summer day throwing rocks in preparation for the resumption of shooting season this fall. Donning a mouth full of braces Kayleigh said, “My daddy told me in America we have a constitutional right to bear arms. And, no matter what any dotard liberal says that is never going to change. My daddy loves me and wants me to be prepared so we’re practicing throwing rocks every day in case someone with a AR15 comes to my school. He says if I keep practicing I might throw as good as a boy someday and maybe I’ll even stop a shooter. But if not and I die, it’ll be alright, cause my Daddy says…that’s the price you pay for living in the greatest, most free country in the world. ”
