Author Not Fooling Anyone With New Strategy


West Seneca, NY— Indie author P.A. Kane, Written In The Stars:The Book Of Molly, is attempting to broaden his audience and increase sales of his novel with a new satire website: But, this ruse isn’t fooling anyone.  

“The idea,” Kane said, “is to draw members of Facebook and Twitter groups to my website by inserting pithy, little group specific stories into their feeds. For example, there are a million pro and con Donald Trump groups, and both would be delighted and entertained with a facetious yarn titled: Donald Trump To Host 2017 Spelling Bee, where he can tell you this: “there will be ratings the likes of which the world has never seen” and how, “no one will want to miss Trump telling some sniveling little Asian kid, they’re a LOSER when they can’t spell, gesellschaft or feldenkraisr.” Once at the site they’ll read other delightful and entertaining stories, give me a Like, Share or Retweet, and eventually come to the conclusion they can’t live without my novel.”

Online marketing genius Seth Godin reacted to Kane’s strategy by rolling his eyes and saying, “I don’t think this plan dignifies a response.”

Kane, a long time Replacements enthusiast , plans to solicit the band’s fansites. Asked for comment, frontman Paul Westerberg said, “Fuck that bald asshole, Kane.”

Productivity expert Bill Womeldorf was a little more upbeat, “Look, this is a bad idea. Kane needs to do a self inventory, maybe journal a bit, create some priority lists and really dig into who he is while figuring out his skill set. Hopefully, he’ll come to understand his readily apparent limitations and seek out employment as a Walmart greeter or selling flowers on street corners. That way he can at least make a poor to modest living.

Faced with this stinging criticism Kane responded with a laugh and said, “You’ll see, when I electrify C-SPAN’s, Book TV during my month long run. Everybody will be tripping over themselves walking these comments back.”      


About P.A. Kane

Writer and payer of tuition.

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